


The Power That's Inside

by RobinTrigue



Series: The Frogsplash WWE Pokémon AU [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Adventure, Crushes, Gen, Pokemon AU, Slow Burn, background Bakery AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-07-27 05:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7605619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinTrigue/pseuds/RobinTrigue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two heroic trios of our favourite WWE superstars embark on their Pokémon journeys across the tumultuous region of Frogsplash, racing to see which of them will be the first to conquer the Elite Four and become champion!</p><p>Will all their hard work pay off? Will they manage to stop a secret organisation that threatens to ruin everything? Will they find love along the way? Will Dean ever catch anything that isn’t a Rattata? Read on! The adventure is just beginning!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler, Sasha, and Xavier get starter Pokémon from the local Pokémon Prof, and set off on a grand adventure! They will meet many friends, old and new, and definitely have lots of fun along the way!

(-o-)

 

A Doduo made its traditional morning cry from the rooftops as dawn broke over the sleepy village of Tombstone. A town on the border, Tombstone saw most of its residents head north to Marksland – deeper in the mainland of the continent, it had a greater diversity of jobs and industry. But Tombstone truly belonged to Frogsplash, a region where only the hardiest and most rugged of Pokémon trainers dared venture. The early morning sunlight spilled through elegantly furred curtains onto the face of Tyler Breeze as he fixed his hair in the mirror.

“Ugh, sunlight,” he said, and pulled them shut. “This dumb journey had better not give me uneven tan lines.”

Tyler had already been awake for hours, trying to get his Louis Vutton travel bag down to only the bare essentials. He hated _carrying things_ and _exertion_ , but he’d be damned if he had to go over mountains and through swamps without the necessary face creams and hair masques to keep himself resplendent. He _was_ Prince Pretty, after all.

There was no way he’d embark on something like this if left to his own devices; Tyler _wasn’t_ delicate, but stomping through the wilderness to fight a bunch of non-showering uggos was far from his idea of fun. He’d have thought nothing could convince him to do it, until his childhood best friend Sasha Banks had called him to say she’d be back home this spring. Not long after, he’d had a text from his other best friend Xavier Woods which said the same, and well, one thing led to another as the three of them chatted and caught up, and now they were going on this Pokémon journey.

Deep down, Tyler was excited. He hadn’t seen either of them in years, what with his modelling career and Xavier always busy with his studies, and Sasha off... wherever she’d been. She hadn’t really said. He’d missed them desperately, those late nights in his room all playing Nintendo together, swapping skincare tips, Xavier sometimes sleeping over and staying up late talking... Tyler shook his head. No use thinking about that sort of thing. And sure, they’d all thought about taking a Pokémon journey together, who hadn’t! But then Sasha got sent to a fancy girl’s school, and he and Xavier had gone their separate ways, and it never seemed like a dream that had any chance of becoming reality until suddenly all their schedules collided here, now, today. They were really doing this.

Tyler caught himself smiling in the mirror and immediately frowned. Can’t go getting smile lines; no friendship is worth that. But he might have accidentally smiled again when he looked away.

A pebble bounced against the window, and Tyler opened it to find Sasha waving up at him, hair a bright fuchsia that complimented her lipstick perfectly, as always.

“Hey Breezie,” she called. “Long time no see.”

“Ms Banks, more beautiful than ever,” he called back. She grinned at him.

“You’d better hurry up, Xave texted me that he’s already there, waiting for us.”

“Already?” Tyler checked his watch in alarm, but it was definitely an hour earlier than they had said they would visit the Pokémon Prof.

Sasha shrugged. “You know Xavier.”

“Ugh, I’m nowhere near ready. Can you come up here and help me sort out which eyeliners I’ll need? I have got to give myself one last mani-pedi in the safety of my own boudoir before we hit the road.”

“Sure thing babe. Key in the same place as usual?” Sasha asked, already making for the plastic Diglett in the plant pot by the front door.

“Yep. Nothing really changes back home, does it?”

 

(-o-)

 

Nothing really changes at all, Tyler realised when he spotted Xavier waving at them from outside the building locals affectionately called Hell’s Gate. Xavier precisely was as beautiful as ever.

“SASHA! TYLER! You guys finally made it!” Xavier shouted at top volume as he bounced down the road to meet them. Before Tyler could calculate what was happening, Xavier had barrelled into both of them, nearly knocking him off his feet. Tyler hadn’t realised how much he’d missed the way his friends weren’t afraid to hug him. He wrapped his arms around Xavier in return, and felt Sasha do the same from the other side. Xavier felt taller, had he gotten taller? Is that a thing that happens when you’re doing a PhD? He was certainly more muscular, tugging around Tyler’s waist until he was lifted off the ground. He flailed elegantly.

“I’ve missed you both so _much_ ,” Xavier said, beaming from ear to ear. “I can’t believe we’re never in the same place anymore, how did that happen?”

“I know!” Sasha agreed, fixing her sunglasses upon being released. “It’s good to be home, if only to see you both again.”

“Yeah, this place is _so_ not #aesthetic,” Tyler said, scowling as he looked around. The town looked half outdated and childish, and half pointlessly gothic with its architecture and cobwebs. Personally, he felt blessed to have escaped to a city that actually knew what _style_ was. But seeing the look on Xavier’s face, he was glad to be home too.

“I’m so glad you’re here! I thought the professor would run out of Pokémon before you arrived!”

“He’s the _Undertaker_ ,” Sasha pointed out. “He doesn’t _run out_ of Pokémon.”

“I _know_ ,” Xavier admitted, and Tyler could feel a smile threatening to break out on his own face as the three of them stared up at the spooky, haunted-looking mansion. “I’m just so excited!”

“Me too,” said Sasha, and Tyler nodded.

“Me three.”

“So do we just... go in?”

Thunder pealed through the clear blue sky, and they tried to hide their shivers. “I guess so,” Xavier said, and they all stepped forward as one.

 

(-o-)

 

The door of the mansion creaked open without any of them needing to touch it. Tyler, Sasha, and Xavier looked at each other and gulped. They’d seen their local Pokémon Prof as kids at various town festivals (when he wasn’t busy filming educational TV shows), but that didn’t mean he ever got any less... terrifying.

Tyler stuck his head through the door. There didn’t seem to be anyone there. “Come on,” he whispered. “Maybe we can just sneak in and...” His toe was barely over the threshold when a bell tolled that shook the house. The world was flooded with darkness, and an instant later, the professor himself appeared, towering sinisterly. His iconic Darkrai, complete with her famous battle scars, hovered behind him.

Xavier stepped forward. “Ah, Mister Undertaker, sir,” he stammered. “We, my friends and I, were just...”

Sasha walked through the door too, standing as though to shield the two of them with her tiny body. “We’re here for starter Pokémon,” she announced. “Take us to where we get them.”

Tyler and Xavier stared at each other over her head, wiggling their eyebrows in silent conversation. “ _She’s so brave it’s scary!_ ” ” _I know!_ ”

The Undertaker stared at them. Sasha, from seventeen inches below his eye level, stared back. Finally, he shrugged, and his Darkrai drifted up the staircase behind him.

“It is time for the reaper to enter the serpent’s lair,” he said, and stomped down the hall. The trio looked at each other again.

“I guess we’re meant to follow him?” Tyler suggested.

“I’m pretty sure other regions don’t have as weird an ordeal as this just to get their starters,” Xavier muttered darkly, and the three of them walked gingerly down the corridor. Peeking through an open door, they found a room full of shelves, like a long, dusty library, and on each shelf, dozens of Pokéballs. The Undertaker stood in the centre of the stacks expectantly, arms clasped behind his back.

“Umm. May we enter, Professor?” asked Xavier politely. The Undertaker spread his arms and rolled his eyeballs back in their sockets, gesturing to the entire library.

“So what, we just pick any of these?” Tyler asked. The Undertaker glared at him intently with glowing white eyes, as though he could beam Pokémon knowledge into him through the force of his stare alone. Tyler really hoped he was imaging the ominous hum that filled the air. After what felt like an age, the tall man looked away.

“Think about your fate. The choice is yours,” he said.

Sasha looked around. “I guess... I guess we’ll be drawn to the right one, you know? Instinct.”

Tyler glanced uncertainly at Xavier, but he was already wandering off, running his hands along the shelves in silence, not seeming to notice the dust and cobwebs that were catching on his sleeve. Tyler tore his eyes away and took off in the other direction.

He didn’t know what he was looking for, wasn’t sure there would _be_ anything for him in this dirty, ugly, _old_ house. What if he wasn’t ‘drawn to’ anything?

Maybe if he grabbed a ball at random it would be the perfect one for him, with a Pokémon inside that also didn’t care who it got. He bit his lip, and resisted the urge to look over at his friends and see how they were doing; this wasn’t a maths test.

Tyler felt a little guilty. Sasha and Xavier cared about this a lot, and they wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who didn’t care. Studied apathy was what he’d built his career on, but this journey, even if he wasn’t sure what he wanted from it (god, why was it so hard to keep from looking back at Xavier?), did mean something to him. He’d have to put some effort into this.

Wishing he’d put some effort into learning the fancy meditation techniques some of Xavier’s video game characters talked about, Tyler did the next best thing and emptied his mind the way he did before a big shoot. Pursing his lips into a perfect duckface, he stalked off towards the far, dim corner of his shelf. He still didn’t know what he was doing, but at least he would do it with style.

By the end of the row, he could feel the dust gathering in his hair simply from _being_ in this dreadful place. He dug out his phone and pulled up the camera to dust himself off, when he saw it – right there over his shoulder, catching the light in _the most_ photogenic way – the perfect Pokéball.

Tyler snapped a selfie before he picked it up, wiping its dust onto the threadbare carpet instead of his expensive clothes. There. Clean and polished, as a Pokéball ought to be.

There was a squeal of excitement back in the direction he had come, and he hurried back to find Sasha and Xavier both had Pokéballs in their hands as well. Each of them was beaming proudly.

“Well, I guess this is it,” said Xavier. “We’re ready to set off for real now. Oh Tyler, after all these years, aren’t you so excited?”

“Yeah!” Tyler heard himself saying, with more excitement than he realised he _could_ feel. Everything felt tingly and good, for some reason.

“So long, Taker! Have a beautiful day now! Buh-bye!” Xavier cried, strolling from the library with a little dance; all his earlier fear seemed to have evaporated, and Tyler couldn’t completely blame him. Getting what they’d come for, actually starting all this, it _did_ feel like the start of an adventure.

They’d almost made their way to the front door when the professor’s deep voice called out, “ _Wait._ ”

The three of them stopped and turned. The Undertaker reached deep inside his cloak (which wasn’t even _in_ back in whatever decade he’d been an active trainer, _honestly_ ), and pulled out a Pokédex. It looked small in his giant hands. “Sasha Banks,” he said solemnly.

“For me?” she asked. Her voice sounded small, filled with a nervousness Tyler had never heard before.

The grizzled old man stared down at her, a long, quiet look. “Do you want to know what hell is like?” he asked, voice reverberating in the weird spooky way it always did. “Hell is watching helplessly as your soul is stripped away from you. You are raw from the pain and powerless to stop it.”

If Tyler had let himself focus on the creepy-ass cryptic nonsense, he would have missed Sasha’s mouth hardening into a thin line as she swiped the Pokédex from their professor’s hand.

“I _will_ be champion of Frogsplash, and _no one_ will stop me,” she said, with probably unnecessary vehemence, Tyler felt. But the Undertaker merely nodded. Thunder pealed again, and the door swung open without anyone touching it.

“Good luck,” he said, and the three friends stepped into sunlight once again.

“Well, that was weird as a two-headed Wubboffet,” Xavier said with a stretch as the door shut behind them. “Let’s see who our Pokémon are! Count of three, ready? One... Two...”

With the familiar and yet brand new whooshing sound, the balls clicked open. Before Tyler materialised the most beautiful little fox he had ever seen. To his left, Sasha gave a tiny scream of happiness, and to his right, Xavier giggled and actually leapt for joy.

“Oh you handsome little _thing_!” his friend cried, scooping up a reptilian starter in his arms. “I’m going to call you Francesca!”

Sasha cooed and fell to her knees as her starter sneezed, setting a small patch of grass alight. Tyler looked back at his. She seemed to be looking around at dirt path they were standing on with distaste. She walked towards him, cleaned her front paws off delicately, and propped herself up against Tyler’s leg. Her paws were so clean they didn’t even stain his white Armani fancy-casual pants. Tyler picked her up the way he had seen people do with Skitties.

“Well, Princess Pretty,” he said. “It looks like we’ve both found someone who appreciates the importance of good hygiene on the road.” Princess Pretty gave a refined yip in response.

“Sasha!” yelled Xavier, overcome with giggles as his own starter scampered up and down his body at high speeds. “Get out your Pokédex and tell us who our little buddies are!”

Sasha looked up from where she was rolling on the ground with her new friend, and pulled out the small red tablet. In a tinny voice, the machine introduced the three humans to Cyndaquil, Fennekin, and Treecko.

“Hell yes! Did you hear that, Frogsplash?” shouted Xavier. “Xavier Woods, Sasha Banks, and Prince Pretty, the King of Cuteville himself, coming at you with Francesca, Princess Pretty -”

“And her name is Rei!” added Sasha, lifting her Cyndaquil into the air.

“- and Rei the wonder Cyndaquil, on our way to becoming the new regional Pokémon CHAAAAAMPIONS!” He whooped, and Tyler and Sasha whooped with him, startling nearby Pidgeys from the trees.

This was going to be the best adventure _ever_.

 

(-o-)

 

Bulldog was a day’s walk away from Tombstone, a brief foray west before their big swing to the east to avoid Frogsplash’s impenetrable mountains. This far south, they could just begin to make out Phoenix Peak, the tallest and most central of the range. Tyler had pointed out before they’d left that travel would take less than a day if they drove, but Xavier insisted that they do this authentically, and neither of them could say no to Xavier when he got that excited look in his eyes.

Still, the scenery wasn’t _too_ bad, Tyler supposed as he dragged his bag behind him (with Princess Pretty napping on top, intelligently avoiding the dirt of the road). They were heading through Frogsplash’s small agricultural pocket, the only area with solid enough ground for anything to grow. Tyler had never travelled much further south than Tombstone, if he was honest, but so far it wasn’t as bad as people made out. So long as they made good time and nothing annoying happened, he could really see himself enjoying –

“Stand back and prepare for defeat!” said a woman in a _truly hideous_ bargain brand blue jumpsuit. Tyler jumped back in alarm. It looked like it was made of an _acrylic-cotton blend?_

“Our first trainer battle! This is the best!” said Sasha. “Even if it is against someone wearing... that.”

“Don’t worry Sasha, I’ll save you from our stylistically-challenged foe,” teased Xavier. “Well come on Francesca, do your thing!” The Treecko jumped forward, getting into a fighting stance.

“Mock me all you want! I knew I’d meet condescending jerks like you on the road, but you can’t possibly defeat my Pokémon! Go – Magikarp!”

Five Magikarp and five absorbs later, the three of them were walking away and shaking with laughter as Xavier pocketed his winnings.

“Well you guys, it looks like this whole journey is going to be a cinch!” he said.

“Yeah, a real... _breeze_ ,” Tyler added. Sasha and Xavier groaned.

 

(-o-)

 

They arrived in town fairly late, each worried by how tired their Pokémon had become from the handful of trainers and wild Pokémon they’d had to get past on the way, but luckily the Poké Centre was the first thing that welcomed them, nestled in an eruption of flowers and fruit trees.

“It’s so beautiful here,” Xavier whispered, turning his head this way and that. Tyler had to admit, looking at his friend, that it was quite pretty here. “There are so many flowers and – is that a Flabébé?” They all ran for a closer look.

“It is! And look, there’s a yellow one – and a blue one!”

“Let’s rest our Pokémon up and we can start catching,” Sasha suggested. They piled through the doors into the cool air of the Pokémon Centre.

“I’ve never actually been inside one of these things before,” Tyler said. “So where do we go to talk to the-”

“NURSE MOJO AT YOUR SERVICE!” yelled a dismally uggo-riffic man in a nurse’s outfit that clashed _horribly_ with his complexion. “WELCOME TO THE BULLDOG POKEMON CENTRE! WE HEAL YOUR POKEMON BACK TO PERFECT _HYPE!_ ”

“Oh my god,” Tyler whispered in horror.

“I’LL TAKE YOUR POKEMON FOR A FEW MINUTES!” yelled the man. He seemed to be vibrating slightly. Tyler, Xavier, and Sasha recalled their starters and handed them to Nurse Mojo in stunned silence. Mojo balanced the three balls awkwardly in his hands, did a full summersault, and ran into the back yelling _whoooo_.

“I know we shouldn’t get all our information from TV, but that does _not_ seem like the nurses you get in other regions,” Xavier said with a low whistle. “That guy was a little intense, even for me. Don’t you agree, Sasha? Sasha?”

Tyler and Xavier looked over to find Sasha staring intently at some band of weirdos who were taking up the entire sofa in the corner with their backpacks and their wrinkled outfits.

“...Bayley?”

The one with the waterfall ponytail bounced to her feet, sprinting over to wrap Sasha in a tight hug. “Sasha! I didn’t expect to see you here! I thought you’d be in the Falls!”

“I haven’t seen you since school,” said Sasha, incredulously. “What have you been doing? Are you – travelling?”

“Yeah!” Bayley seemed to have almost as much energy as Mojo did. “I spent a few years up in Surfboard Bay with mom, but then my friend started talking about going on a Pokémon journey. I loved making plans with you and the girls so much back in the day, I figured what better time to follow my dream than now?”

Tyler and Xavier took a surreptitious selfie to act like they weren’t listening in.

“Why did she think Sahsa would be at Pinfalls Tower?” Tyler whispered, pretending to adjust the flash. Xavier shrugged.

“Uh, Bayley, why are you travelling with that weird guy?” Sasha asked, nodding back towards the sofa.

Bayley looked over. “Sami’s not weird!” she said cheerfully.

Sasha narrowed her eyes. “Bayley. I believe you. But who’s the _weird_ guy you’re travelling with?”

Bayley looked a little bashful at having been caught evading the question. “....yeah, that’s Dean. We met him on the road. But he’s really nice!” The two men, seeing they were being discussed, wandered over to join Bayley. Tyler and Xavier draped themselves over Sasha, like a wall of intense beauty. Honestly, the world should quiver before them.

Sasha’s eyes didn’t un-narrow. She leant forward to whisper something in Bayley’s ear that Tyler couldn’t quite catch, but he heard the words “destroy” and “just in case.”

The one Tyler assumed must be Dean clearly heard more though, because he laughed in a way that somehow exposed his entire neck and all of his teeth. “Oh come on – Bay, Sami, and I are a team! We’re called the Rough Riders.”

“Nope, we’re called Team Hugs!” sang Bayley as the redhead shook his head at Dean.

“Oh yeah? Well we’re called Team Gorgeous!” Tyler blurted out.

To his dismay, no one reacted because Sami at the same time turned to Bayley and said “Bayley! We’re a _Hug-trio!_ ” and the three of them erupted into squeals and a bouncy embrace. Tyler felt uncomfortably like he’d been upstaged by people who _didn’t even care_ that they’d upstaged him. Disgusting.

“Will you three be visiting all the gyms?” Sasha asked. Bayley nodded.

“Yup! I want to be as prepared as possible before starting my own! And Sami here is going to become champion!”

“We’ll see about that,” Xavier said. “It’ll be a little tricky for him if I become champion first.”

“Or me,” added Tyler quickly.

“Or me.” Sasha crossed her arms.

Sami grinned at them. “A challenge happily accepted!”

“You’ll love the first gym Sasha, everyone is _so_ nice there!” beamed Bayley. Tyler expected Sasha’s retort to be something along the lines of “I’m the Boss, I don’t _need_ nice,” but she actually seemed to be fighting a smile in the face of Bayley’s intense cheer.

“She’s so _cute_! Can we keep her?” Xavier squealed next to him, which was much less surprising. Xavier liked positive people. It was kind of a mystery why he kept Tyler around, really. The thought almost made Tyler frown, before he remembered frown lines were almost as bad as smile lines.

“No can do, buddy; me, Bayley, and Hot Stuff here have a date with destiny over in Hurricanrana,” said the scruffiest one, Dean.

“I’m telling you, it’s too _sexual_ ,” muttered Sami, but Dean ignored him.

As if on cue, Mojo brought out a tray of Pokéballs. “THANK YOU FOR WAITING! WE’VE RESTORED YOUR POKEMON TO THE _HYPEST THEY’VE EVER BEEN!_ ”

“Thank you Mojo!” said Bayley. “We hope to see you again!”

“YOU TOO! STAY HYPED!”

A Chansey with facepaint and a sweatband on came out with a second tray, this time with Tyler, Xavier, and Sasha’s three Pokéballs.

“Uh. Thanks,” Tyler said, taking his.

“Chansey!” said Chansey. Mojo spun around from his hug with Bayley.

“CHANSEY! DOUBLE POKE-HYPING COMBO! YEAH!” He and the Chansey did a leaping mid-air high five. Tyler and Xavier grimaced in embarrassment.

“REMEMBER, NEW TRAINERS, YOUR POKEMON WILL GET LESS TIRED AND STAY MORE HYPED IF YOU KEEP THEM IN THEIR POKEBALLS WHEN NOT BATTLING! STAY HYPED! MOJO OUT!”

“Well, now we’re done here, we should probably be heading off,” said Sami, picking up his backpack and putting on a hat which Tyler thought was strikingly ugly.

“That hat is strikingly ugly,” he said.

Xavier clapped him on the shoulder sympathetically. “Even more strikingly ugly than Mortal Kombat’s Kurtis Stryker’s ugly striking.” Sami glared at the two of them while Dean snickered.

Sasha hugged Bayley one more time. “Remember, call me if you need help with them, okay? You’re my speed dial number one.”

 “Thanks Sasha, but I _can_ take care of myself. Good luck on your Pokémon journey! We’re all going to have such a great time!”

The Hugtrio walked out into the warm evening air, and breathed in deep the smell of flowery garden.

“Well those three were weirdos,” Dean said.

 

(-o-)

 

 “If the rest of the places he have to spend the night are as ‘quaint’ as that, I might abandon you two long before we even get to Suplex City,” Tyler complained. The fields around Bulldog were primarily wheat fields, but the paths and hedgerows were full of pollinators, flying and bug types flitting between the occasional chirping grass Pokémon. They were doing some training before they faced the Bulldog Gym now they had their supplies form the Poké Mart.

“I _know_ ,” said Xavier. “We came so close to running out of hot water, Sasha and I had to shower together! It was barbaric.”

“Yeah, you are _never_ allowed to sing in my presence again,” said Sasha while Tyler hurriedly fixed his hair in his phone. It was normal to get flushed when you’re chasing Pokémon, right? “I swear, you _can _not__ carry even a single- Jigglypuff! There’s a Jigglypuff in that bush! I’m gonna go catch her!”

Tyler and Xavier grinned at each other. “Well Breezie, looks like it’s time to grab our balls!”

By lunchtime, Tyler was _sweaty_ and Sasha’s hair had twigs in it, but all three of them had caught a Pokémon (and Xavier and Sasha had gone one further, catching Flabébés in every colour, just for completion).  Sasha opened her Pokédex, rolling her eyes at the tolling bell sound and the tinny voice recording (“ _You can’t tempt fate. This is what you get when you cross the line into a realm of darkness._ ”), and introduced them to their new friends: her own Jigglypuff, Xavier’s Caterpie, and Tyler’s Budew. It was such a nice morning that stopping by the Poké Centre before going to the gym was nearly bearable.

The Bulldog Gym was built like a small cottage on the outside, and wasn’t much different inside – it was full of twinkling lights, little jars of foul potpourri, and the smell of baking cookies. Tyler scrunched up his nose in disgust. “The sooner we get out of here, the better,” he said. “The decor is _so_ not fetch.”

“You said it,” agreed Sasha.

“Yo, champs in the making,” came a booming voice from behind them. The trio spun around. A man, at least six inches taller than any of them, towered by the door. His smile was strange somehow, as if each of his teeth was filed to a point even though they weren’t.

Team Gorgeous huddled slightly closer together.

“Welcome to your first gym on your travels through Frogsplash! This is a fairy gym, which means fighting, dragon, and dark Pokémon are at a disadvantage. If you beat all the trainers and the gym leader, you’ll get a badge and your name written on these pillars.” He gestured to two tall pillars behind him, which were packed with tiny names. “You may use a maximum of six Pokémon in a fight, and have a total of eight gyms to face before you reach the Elite Four in Pinfalls Tower. Gym trainers are given thirty minutes between each fight to refresh their Pokémon. Any questions?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a question,” said Xavier. “If those who can’t do, teach, and those who can’t teach, teach gym, how much of a loser do you have to be to teach _about_ gyms?”

“Yeah!” chortled Tyler. “And how come you’re such an uggo too?”

“Come on boys,” said Sasha, flouncing past the tall man. “Let’s kick ass.” They followed her with matching pouts, paying no mind to the man’s odd grin.

The first trainer inside was a smiling woman named Asuka who, Tyler had to admit, did have a sense of style. It wasn’t Gucci – he tugged his 100% smurf vest closer – but the rainbow/tiger combo did look good on her.

“Well?” she said. “Which of you is brave enough to face me first?”

They looked at each other. “Tyler,” Xavier said.

“What?” He leant forward in surprise, trying to get a better look at his friend’s face. “Why me?”

“You’re a really strong trainer, and you and Princess already have a great bond,” Sasha pointed out.

“Yeah, being a Pokémon trainer is all about being true to yourself and being a good friend,” Xavier said. “We’ll be right behind you, of course, but someone has to start.”

“But Sahsa’s so powerful, and you’re so-” Tyler stopped before he said something embarrassing, but luckily the other two just laughed.

“I’ll start next time,” Sasha promised. “For now, don’t keep this _nobody_ waiting.” Asuka smiled at her.

“Alright, Princess Pretty.” Tyler tossed her Pokéball into the air. “Let’s see what we can do.”

“Wonderful,” said Asuka, bringing out her own Pokémon, a little yellow and black creature.

“Wow, a Mawile!” said Xavier. “You don’t see those much around here!”

“It is pretty cute,” Tyler admitted. “Look at those big eyes, and the little – AAAH! TEETH! TEETH! EMBER, NOW!”

...Tyler had to glare at his so-called friends three times before they stopped laughing at him. He kind of felt maybe Mawiles weren’t so cute after all.

They eventually made their way to the back room of the gym, which was even worse than all the others. Chintz sofas against every wall, a real oven baking oatmeal cookies, vases of fake flowers, pink wallpaper... Sasha was visibly pained from how it clashed with her hair. Xavier hugged her sympathetically.

In the middle of the room, a crumpled-looking tissue gurgled at them ominously.

“What is that?” Tyler asked. Xavier shrugged, and Sasha’s Pokédex didn’t even finish turning on (“ _When the reaper calls your name-_ ”) when someone ran in from the garden.

“ _There_ you are, my little Mimikyu! I was wondering where you’d got to!” The man lifted the creature up on his shoulder, grinning at the trio like he’d just been hit with a spade. “Isn’t he cute? My brother sent him to me! He’s just a little baby, not strong enough to battle yet. But I’ll fight you! Me and my bulldogs! Or should I say, _Bo_ -dogs!”

The smiling stranger was wearing a T-shirt and what looked like white underwear, and Tyler was just about ready to call this whole journey off and head back up to Marksland where he had a career that categorically banned unattractiveness.

“What- what in the world?” Xavier sounded equally incredulous. “You _cannot_ be serious right now. You? A gym leader?”

The man gasped with delight. “Oh my goodness, you must be new trainers! I love having new trainers! It’s so exciting being the first gym and seeing so many people starting on the adventure of their lives! I’m Bo, and can I just say, I think it’s so sensible of you to have all left your hair products at home instead of trying to look good while you’re on the road.”

There was a pause.

“Tyler,” Sasha said very seriously. “I’m going to need you to _kill_ this guy.”

Bo clapped his hands together with glee. “Oh, this is so much _fun_! Passion is so cute! Just like my Pokémon!”

It was an embarrassingly difficult battle. Bo’s Spritzee seemed to all but drain the life out of Tyler’s Budew, and Husky, his Snubbull, had a bite that was far stronger than any of the wild Snubbull Team Gorgeous had met around the town. For a few moments, he was terrified Princess would get hurt and unable to battle, a terror not helped by the gym leader insisting “come on! All you have to do is Bo-lieve!” in a way that should have been taunting but infuriatingly wasn’t.

“Come on, Princess! Come on, you beautiful beast! There has never been a Fennekin more beautiful or talented than this one, do you hear me!” Xavier shouted from the sidelines, just like he’d always done for Sasha and Tyler when they were playing video games as kids. It made Tyler smile.

“Go on, gorgeous,” he said quietly. “Show this underbite uggo.” And Princess Pretty pulled through with the coolest flame charge he had ever seen.

“Hah!” Tyler shouted, lifting her into his arms for a victory selfie while his friends danced on the sofa in celebration.

Bo applauded slowly, with only the faintest hint of sarcasm. “Well done indeed,” he said. “Since you’ve now beaten your first gym, you gain a very special prize: the _Bo_ lief Badge. It comes with this case that you should keep with you always, to remind you that all of your dreams _can_ and will come true, if you only _bo-_ ”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Tyler, giving Princess a Cordoba orange-wood cuticle stick to chew on. “Can you hurry up and refresh your Pokémon so we can get out of here without listening to this anymore?”

By evening, the three of them were all proud, badge-bearing trainers on the road to their second gym.

 

(-o-)

 

Sleeping outdoors wasn’t the life Sami was used to, but he found himself enjoying it; the thin bedrolls didn’t make the ground any less rough and sharp, but the stars were brighter the further they went from Surfboard Bay and it was beautiful. He was glad Bayley had agreed to go on this adventure with him; he’d really needed the change.

He sometimes had to _remind_ himself how glad he was, especially when Dean started on his sixth consecutive rendition of I’m Gonna Be, but overall, watching their surroundings slowly transform from rolling fields of wheat and flowers to denser and denser woodland, Sami had to smile.

“Come on, all together now!” Dean insisted. “ _And I would walk five hundred miles! And I would walk five hundred more! Just to be the man who..._ ” but his and Bayley’s voices were drowned out by the rumbling of a convertible that approached and, surprisingly, slowed down as it grew level with them.

“Wait...” Bayley shielded her eyes. “Is that... Cesaro?”

“No, it can’t be,” said Sami, but just when he’d almost convinced himself, the convertible stopped and the driver whipped off his sunglasses.

“Sami! My friend!”

“Oh god,” Sami muttered. “So good to see you again, Cesaro! What are you doing here?”

“I’m so glad you asked,” he said. “And Bayley! What a pleasure! Well, I am here because I heard all the bakers of the bay were trying their hand at Pokémon training, so I closed up shop and decided to try my hand as well!”

“You closed Cesaro’s Coffee Corner?” Bayley asked.

“Si! But only until I become a master. Sami, I have made a great discovery!”

“What is it?” Sami asked through gritted teeth, while Dean gazed on with interest.

“Sami, I have discovered...” Cesaro stood on his seat, and ripped off his tailored suit to reveal a pair of shorts and, somehow, a netted hat. “I love Bug Pokémon! I get up early every day to raise my bugs from cocoons! If you don’t like bugs, you bug me!”

“That’s great, Cesaro!” said Bayley. Sami’s frown deepened.

“What are you becoming a master of, Sami? Anything yet?” Sami felt strangely lost for what to say, especially when Cesaro continued. “My super bugs and I have already won three badges! I’m gonna be the best!”

“Well isn’t that just wonderful for you,” Sami said.

“All inspired by your marvellous journey!” Cesaro gave them a sweeping wave as he drove off. “Ciao, liebling!”

Sami kicked a stone in the direction the car had gone, and Dean gaped, fascinated. “Okay kid, what the hell was _that?_ ”

“....Rival.”

Bayley hesitated, then decided to explain a bit when it became clear Sami was planning on walking the rest of the way to Hurricanrana Village in stony silence. “Cesaro owned the local café back home. He’s really nice, but I think when he opened Sami lost some customers.”

“Selling stale biscotti and then coming round my shop to insult me in languages I don’t speak! Sarcastically complimenting my zopf! And now he’s driving around, rubbing it in my face that he’s got more _badges_ than me, acting like his Pokémon are so much more _super!_ ”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to,” mediated Bayley. “And I really don’t think he’s as bad as-”

“As bad as nothing!” Sami cut off.

Dean slung an arm around his shoulders. “I hear you, sweetcakes. Rivals are bastards, all of them. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you kick his bug-ridden ass. You two are gonna be champions, you hear me?”

“Yeah Sami, we can do it!”

“Listen to the water girl, Sami, she knows what she’s talking about. Now come on, sing with me: _when I wake up, yeah I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be..._ ”

The three of them sang in the style of Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer, getting the protagonist down to walking three hundred and eighty-seven miles by the time they reached the small clearing that was Hurricanrana deep in the Turnbuckle Forest. Dean had caught three Rattata, they had each battled some wild Pokémon, visited the local Mojo Rawley at the Pokémon Centre, and Sami felt a little better when they arrived at the giant tree in the centre of the village.

“So the gym is at the top?” he asked, peering up into the branches.

“Yep,” said Dean. “Gym leader’s got a pretty nasty Hawlucha, but I bet we can take ’im.”

“Yo, champs in the making!” said a tall man.

“Hey, aren’t you the same person who was at-” Bayley asked, but Dean shooed the guy away like he was telling off a small child.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, this isn’t our first rodeo. Where’s the ladder?”

 _Good thing I’m not afraid of heights_ , Sami thought as they climbed. He wondered how Cesaro had got three badges already. He had to get at least that many too; he could be a master of a type and beat all the gyms and not be second-best at anything! That would show – everyone! A gust of wind high above had Sami biting his lip. He was sure he _could_ be the best if he tried hard, but something dark and unhappy and worried was clawing at him.

Suddenly, a human being in a cape landed on the thick branch next to him, surprising Sami so much that he nearly lost his footing.

“Ow!”

“Sorry!”

“It’s fine,” Dean grumbled. “Just my head, it’s as useful as a ladder as for anything, I suppose, don’t mind me.”

Sami climbed onto the branch carefully, while the shorter man looked him up and down. “ _You’re_ planning on facing Kallisto?” he asked.

“So what if I am?”

“I’m a flying type expert, and I can see with eagle eyes that you don’t have what it takes to win the big one.”

Sami bristled, pulling out Sprout’s Pokéball. “We’ll see about that! I’m going to be champion someday!”

“Yeah, you show him, Sami!” Bayley cheered from the ladder.

The man in the cape pulled out his own Pokéball. “Me and Red Arrow will ensure you don’t get anywhere near the top!”

 

(-o-)

 

Sami sat against a tree outside of town with his head in his hands, grateful that Dean and Bayley were giving him some space after his embarrassing loss. His face was wet with tears.

“Damnit,” he hissed to himself, punching at the dirt. Only the second gym, and he was losing. He’d never be as good as Cesaro. He’d never beat the champ. It was Surfboard all over again. And the worst part was, seeing how hard his Pokémon had worked for him against Neville and his Flechinder. He would never be as good a trainer they deserved.

Sami was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realise the cloud over his head had become a literal one. Looking up, he found himself face to face with a giant floating ghost Pokémon.

“Uhh,” he said awkwardly, feeling both like he should run away and like he should avoid making sudden moves. “Hello... I don’t have any Pokéballs to catch you, not that I could anyway... Is this your territory? I’m sorry.”

The ghost cocked its head at his words, then swooped at him. Sami threw up his arms to defend himself, but they passed right through the ghost and he felt a long, wet lick up the side of his face. His entire body shuddered like he’d been doused in cool water.

“HAUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY!” came a shout from the treeline, and the sound of someone jogging towards them. “Very bad boy! You know not to lick people!”

The Haunter hovered above Sami, panting a little like a dog. Now Sami thought about it, it was kind of sweet. And pushing through the bramble towards them, the most attractive man Sami had ever seen.

“Guh,” he said.

“I’m so sorry about Haunter,” the man said in an accented voice. “I try to keep him in his Pokéball when we’re travelling, but he keeps breaking out.” A frown. “He didn’t paralyse you, did he?”

Sami realised he’d simply been sat on the ground, staring at the man in the dark shirt and fitted suit. He kind of wished they’d met in a circumstance that wasn’t Sami wearing a day-old band shirt and crying alone in the woods.

“No! No, I’m fine, thanks,” he said quickly, trying to stand only to find his foot was asleep. He collapsed awkwardly among the roots again. Realising there was no way to rescue this situation, he chose to chuckle at his own patheticness instead.

“You named your Haunter after the head of the old Pokémon Fan Club?” he asked the stranger, who grinned sheepishly.

“I’m a bit nerdy,” he said, and sat down next to Sami. “I loved watching his TV show with Professor Undertaker when I was a kid.”

“But you’re not from Frogsplash?”

“No! Nah, I moved here a few years ago. It’s nice, when you get used to it. The mud, the insects...” Sami had to smile; the marshes were every foreigner’s complaint. The other man smiled back, and Sami decided he liked his face.

“Finn,” he said.

“Sami.” They shook hands, grinning stupidly at one another.

“So Sami, what brings you to the dark, Haunter’d woods without a single Pokémon to defend you?” Finn teased. It only made Sami groan and tug at his hair again.

“I do have Pokémon, I’m _trying_ to be a trainer, but I’m just no good at it.”

“Lost at the gym?” Finn asked, and Sami’s head dropped lower. Was it that obvious? “Listen Sami, losing a match doesn’t matter, losing a hundred matches doesn’t matter. Being a great trainer is about having a big heart and not being afraid to form bonds with your Pokémon. It’s about getting back up and trying again. Your Pokémon will respect you for that.”

Finn gave him a little cuff on the shoulder, and Sami managed a weak smile. “I just can’t help feeling like I’m going to be letting them down. Cesaro’s already so far ahead of me, and Spout tried so hard for the Lucha Badge, but I-”

“Sprout?” interrupted Finn. “You have a grass type?”

“Yes,” Sami said. “Sprout is my Bulbasaur, and I also caught Sunny, my Sunflora. Why?”

“Sami, grass types have to work twice as hard as most other Pokémon to beat a flying type.”

“Oh,” said Sami. He hadn’t known that. Perhaps he should have?

“Do you want to specialise in grass Pokémon?” Finn asked. Sami bit his lip.

“Well, Bayley says she’s going to start a water gym, and Cesaro said...”

“Now you don’t listen to anything Cesaro said,” Finn scolded gently, nudging Sami gently in the side, and Sami had to smile for real.

“Sorry, professional jealousy.”

“I figured, no need to apologise. But you know, there’s no one way to be a trainer. I only use one type now, but I still keep Haunter and Spots and the rest of my old team around – I’ve changed course, but it’s because I had their friendship that I got to where I am today. Your friend Bayley’s journey sounds like the perfect one for her, but that’s her journey. So Sami, what do _you_ want to do?”

 Something like hope fluttered in Sami’s heart; Finn’s smile was reminding him of what this was meant to be – an adventure, a new start, finding his happiness in life.

“I... I think I’d like to fill out this Pokédex. And I want to be the Frogsplash champion.” His voice got stronger as he said it, as though speaking the words out loud was what made the confidence appear. He could do this! He could!

“There you go!” said Finn. He got to his feet, and held out a hand for Sami to take. “And I know just the place for you to start. Come with me.”

Sami took the hand followed Finn, who didn’t let go as he drew Sami through the town. They arrived finally at a desk where an oddly familiar man was sat with a Xatu.

“Hey ‘nerico,” said Finn with a nod. “Any extras left?”

“Si! Extras, here!” he said, pulling out a case filled with Pokéballs.

“Ah Generico, you’re the best! Well Sami, my co-worker and I have been travelling around getting Pokémon to new trainers – Generico here helps us a lot, he’s big with charity work.”

“So I’m a charity case?” Sami teased, and Finn shook his head as he dug through the red and white balls.

“’Course not! You’re my friend! And I think there’s mainly Rufflets in here, but there should be at least a few – aha! Perfect!” He pressed a Pokéball into Sami’s hand, then stepped back, bouncing on his toes with his arms by his sides. “Go on, open it! Open it!”

Sami obeyed, feeling fairly certain this was the sweetest thing that had ever happened to him. With a click and a woosh, a squat grey-green reptile appeared.

“Axew!” it said.

“Gesundheit,” Sami replied. Finn giggled, and the Axew waddled over to Sami and started rubbing its tusks against his leg.

“Aaw, he loves you already!” Finn said as Sami crouched down to scritch the Pokémon on its head. “So Sami, if you do want to stay with Sprout and Sunny, what you’ll have to do is train like hell until you can overcome the difference; but Axew here is a dragon. With him, you won’t have a type advantage, but you won’t be at a disadvantage either if you both work hard.”

“Wait – he’s for me?” Sami looked up in surprise. “You’re giving him to me? Why?”

“Because I think you’ll be a great trainer,” Finn beamed. The familiar-looking man at the desk nodded behind him.

“Si! Sami, numero uno!”

“Yeah, you said it, Generico!” Finn held out a hand for Sami to shake, and he took it, still feeling like this might all be a dream. He’d been so nervous only an hour ago, but here was Finn, who apparently believed in Sami enough to outright give him a Pokémon? “Sami, my colleagues and I have to hit the road, so this is goodbye, but I’m fairly sure I’ll be seeing you again – both of you,” Finn promised, and gave the Axew a pat on the head. “Good luck, trainer Sami! Stay true to _your_ path! Don’t forget what’s important to you!”

Finn began to walk off towards the main square where a crowd was gathered while Sami was still processing what had been said. “Finn!” he called after him, and Finn turned. “Thank you, for everything! I won’t let you down!”

“I know you won’t!” Finn called back. He raised a hand goodbye, and Sami smiled so hard it made his face hurt. He scooped the Axew up in his arms and gave him a hug.

“Sami! There you are!” Bayley and Dean ran towards him from the same direction. “Where have you been? John Cena was here giving Pokémon to kids, I think he’s just left!”

“And more importantly, who is this charming beauty?” asked Dean. The Axew bit at his fingers, and he laughed.

“I think I’m going to name him Sneezy,” Sami said.

“And not Tusky? Sami boy, and here I thought I had you figured out.”

“It’s too bad you couldn’t meet Cena,” said Bayley with a frown.

“That’s okay, I did meet... someone...” Sami’s vague words didn’t stop Dean and Bayley’s faces from lighting up like it was Christmas.

“Ooooooh, Sami has a _crush!_ Who is it? When can we meet them?”

 

(-o-)

 

The Hugtrio stayed in Hurricanrana for a few more days for Sami to train. Beating Kallisto’s flying gym was much easier the second time around; the trainer Neville told Sami he showed some real _alt_ itude when he won, and even cheered for him when he finally faced the leader high up in the canopy. Kallisto dressed like the Hawluchas he was famous for, and Sami had a hard time against the fighting type's powerful kicks, even harder Kallisto's Staravia's speed; but Sprout and Sunny were both able to help Sneezy out, and Sami’s team managed a victory. Sami finally got his Lucha Badge, and pinned it proudly in his case.

“If only you were able to call Finn and tell him how well you did with the Pokémon he gave you,” Bayley sighed as they set off, and Sami shoved her playfully, all worries about rivals forgotten.

“Yeah Sami, how can you have the Undertaker’s number in your Pokédex but not your boyfriend’s?” Dean teased.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” insisted Sami, turning red. The other two laughed.

“Sami you can’t just let chances like this pass you by, attractive trainers who give out cool Pokémon and heartwarming life advice! Besides, Bays and I have got to interview him, make sure his intentions are pure.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows in a way that was definitely _not_ pure. Sami pursed his lips, choosing to stare down the road ahead instead.

“He _did_ say we’d see each other again...”

 

(-o-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks go out to Gasmasked/Transboyenzo and MagicMalcolm for making suggestions about Pokémon teams that really helped me pull this universe together! (Don’t worry, Finn’s Girafarig will appear later!) To think, this wonderful journey all began (for me) with a throwaway speculation that Bo would make a great Fairy gym leader...
> 
> I have gaps in my knowledge of both Pokémon and wrestling, so please, feel free to let me know if there are any mistakes or amazing potential that I’ve overlooked! Mixing my childhood obsession with my current one has made for a really enjoyable writing experience for me, I hope it’s been fun for you to read. :)


	2. Now I remember! Your rival’s name is  . . . . . . !

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our intrepid trios battle at gyms, gain new Pokémon, and bump into old friends! How fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It should be noted that the only reason this chapter title isn't the entire lyrics to Fight Song is because they were too long for the field.

(-o-)

 

The Hugtrio continued trudging along the road towards the coast, groaning at their aching backs. Sami could feel himself itching to bake something, but all they’d had was camp rations for the last three days, all stews and energy bars. He and Bayley were keeping each other in high spirits, but Dean seemed genuinely not to mind, feeding bits of granola to one of his Rattata as he walked along.

“Dean, how are you even managing to beat these gyms with only Rattatas on your team?” Sami asked finally, after puzzling over it for miles.

“Because I’m a great fuckin’ trainer, that’s how! I’m practically Elite Four, baby, and these Rattata are in the top percentage of Rattata!”

“But you _are_ going to catch more Pokémon, aren’t you?” Bayley asked.

“’Course I am!” There was a rustling on the side of the path. “In fact, there’s one – right – _there!_ ” Dean threw a Pokéball into the bushes behind Bayley, who squeaked and jumped out of the way. There was another squeak from the roadside, a pause, and then a click as the Pokéball confirmed the capture.

“...that looked like another Rattata,” Sami pointed out.

“You must have forty now?” Bayley asked as Dean slung his backpack onto the ground. Red and white Pokéballs rolled out of it onto the ground.

“Damn straight, _at least_ forty!” said Dean proudly, as he struggled to fit them all back in. “Though a couple of them are Raticates, they evolved back when we were fighting those Bella twins, remember?”

“And remind me again why you’re not boxing any of them?” asked Sami, exasperated.

“Yeah, I thought you were only allowed six Pokémon at a time?”

“You’re only allowed to use six Pokémon _per battle_ , but I’m not about to abandon any of these little guys to life in a computer! Besides,” Dean added darkly, “computers can be hacked. I’ve been brought down before, you know. Gotta keep a low profile.”

“Uh-huh.” Sami didn’t exactly believe any of this, but Dean was nice enough and there wasn’t really a _problem_ with owning forty-odd Rattatas, was there?

Bayley whispered an awed _neat_ as they set off again towards Moonsault and its gym, the third on the road to the Elite Four and the champion.

 

(-o-)

 

It was a very sweet town, they discovered. It was probably only a fifth the size of Surfboard City, but being on the water again made Sami and Bayley sigh with happiness at the familiar smell of the salt air and cries of the Wingulls overhead.

“Look over there!” Bayley pointed excitedly at the pier. “There’s people fishing! Maybe they’ll tell me where I can buy a new rod! I’ve heard east coast ones have special attachments that make it easier to attract mammalian water types!”

“Let’s go ask!” Sami had never really understood the appeal of Pokémon you couldn’t hug, so most of Bayley’s team was a puzzle to him, but her enthusiasm for water types was infectious. Soon even the grumpy-looking woman with the rod, Emma, was smiling and exchanging tips with Bayley about lure types and deep sea currents. Sami and Dean didn’t exactly follow the conversation, but they laughed and joined in when Bayley and Emma started doing impressions of Ludicolo dances. They were on their way to the tackle shop Emma had recommended when they heard the commotion.

“A little twerp like you doesn’t need Pokémon as good as this!” a short man in a suit was saying, while his nearly identical partner shoved a child and took her Pokéballs.

“Hey! Stop right there!” yelled Bayley. She took off after the two men at a sprint, Dean and Sami close behind her.

“Jesse! This way!”

“Right behind you, James!” The bald one followed the other down narrower and narrower alleyways, but the Hugtrio pursued until they reached a dead end.

“Now we’ve got you! Give that little girl her Pokémon back! It’s not nice to steal!”

Jesse and James laughed. “And who’s going to make us? You?”

“Darn right, I am! Go, Sugar Bun!” Bayley brought out her Croconaw. Jesse and James glanced at one another, then brought out matching Drowzees.

“Help her, Sprout!” Sami caught up panting, sending his starter to join Bayley’s own.

“We have you trapped, so hand them over,” Bayley insisted, but the two men just laughed.

“Drowzee! Teleport!” they said in unison, and disappeared with smug waves. Dean cursed.

“I can’t fucking believe this!” he said while his friends recalled their Pokémon. “In broad daylight! Where are the police in this town?”

Making their way back to the crying girl, they found a police officer already there with her.

“Oh come on,” Officer Dana said. “What kind of a weakling are you? Boo hoo, some strange men allegedly stole my Pokéballs. Give me a break! Don’t call me again until you can benchpress something.”

“Hey! You be nice to that little girl!” Bayley said. Police Officer Dana rolled her eyes.

“’Nice’? Where would nice get me? I’m an officer of the law, not some sweaty loser who wears dorky headbands.”

“I’m _sweaty_ because I was doing _your_ job chasing down those two criminals!”

“It’s true, she was,” Sami added, but the policewoman just laughed.

“Oh yes? And who are you?”

“Bayley.”

“Well listen, Bayleaf,” Dana got off her motorcycle to stand in front of the water trainer. “The day you have guns like these -” she flexed “-is the day you get to tell me how to do _my_ job. Because I don’t see a pair of criminals anywhere, do you? All I see is two _crying – little – girls_.” She emphasised the last words with pats on Bayley’s head, and Sami thought his friend might ignite with rage. Dana laughed and got back on her motorcycle, siren fading down the street. Bayley clenched her fists for a moment before turning back to the child.

“Hey, are you hurt?” The girl thought for a minute, then shook her head. “That’s good. What’s your name?”

“Davina,” she sniffled.

“Well Davina, my name’s Bayley. I’m really sorry we couldn’t stop those men who took your Pokémon. That must have been really scary.”

“They took Fearrow and Absol,” the girl said. “They were meant to protect me and I couldn’t even protect them!”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Bayley hugged her tight. “Those are two really tough Pokémon to train, they must have loved you a lot to protect you.” Davina nodded into Bayley’s shoulder. “Well then, when I find those two awful people, I’m going to get your Pokémon back for you, okay? Until then...” Bayley reached into her backpack and pulled out her collapsible rod.

“I grew up by the sea, like you, and caught a lot of fun Pokémon with this rod. It won’t be the same as having your friends back, but maybe you can catch some new ones?”

Davina took the rod from Bayley with a small, hopeful smile. “Thank you, Bayley!” she said. She had a gap where her front teeth should be.

Sami and Dean stood on the corner, crying manly tears as they watched Bayley and Davina hug one last time before Davina went skipping off to the beach. Bayley stood and dusted herself off.

“I guess we’d better hit the gym if we’re going to become strong enough to take those jerks out!” she said.

Dean and Sami tried to open their mouths to agree, but wound up sobbing loudly with their arms around Bayley and promising to buy her the _best_ replacement rod in the whole town.

 

(-o-)

 

The Moonsault gym was was the only building in town whose outside was painted a solid black. Black lace curtains cast weird shadows on the floor inside.

“Hey Dean?” Bayley asked, the trio having waved away the gym guy. “Were you really almost a champion?”

“Shit yeah I was!” Dean turned to where Bayley was examining the pillars. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just, your name isn’t on here. You would have had to fight the gyms first, right?”

“WHAT?” Dean knelt down, running his hands over the wood. “Those fuckers! They’re trying to disappear me! Wipe out every trace!”

“What’s wrong?” Bayley whispered, seeing Sami also looking at the pillars and frowning.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Bayley looked like she _was_ worried about it, but before she could say anything, Dean cut her off. “Nothing?! How can _nothing_ be wrong? I’m the best trainer in the League and they’re trying to make it look like I never existed! It’s a conspiracy!”

Dean got so caught up in his rant that he didn’t even notice the lights dimming around them until Sami swatted his arm. “Dean. Stand up.”

The gym was pitch black now. A wolf howled. In the centre of the battlefield, a single spotlight was lit, illuminating a tall, muscular man with tattoos winding around his bare torso and a Poochyena at his heels.

“So...” came the man’s deep voice. He didn’t look up at them. “You dare to enter my lair? My realm of darkness?”

“Y-yes?” said Sami.

“Do you not know what lurks in the darkness?” The trio looked at each other and shrugged. “Foul, dangerous things. You think you’re going to beat this gym and travel south to the marshes? Trust me, when I defeat you and end your journeys here, you will thank me. The southern swamps... there are stories told about them. About the men who live there. About how, on nights when the moon is full, they turn from men... into _beasts_.”

“You mean...” Dean whispered, rapt. “... _werewoofs?_ ”

The spell was broken by Sami and Bayley bursting into giggles.

“Hey! Shut up!” said the tall man. His Poochyena yipped. “I’m being serious!”

“I’m being serious too!” Dean insisted. “Werewoofs can be really dangerous!” Sami and Bayley only laughed harder.

“I don’t need to be insulted like this!” said the man. “I am the leader of this gym, and I-”

The lights all turned on at once, making the Hugtrio blink and smart. “ _Baron Thomas Corbin!_ ” said a woman’s voice. “How many times do I have to tell you, you are _not_ the leader of this gym!”

“Come on Paige, I could absolutely beat them!”

“No! Owning a leather jacket doesn’t automatically make you a good dark trainer!” A very pale women in a black dress covered in pentagrams marched onto the battlefield. “Murkrow! Get them out of here!”

Her Murkrow dove at Baron and his Poochyena. Baron waved it away, muttering “Alright, _alright!_ ” as they walked out of the gym.

“Sorry about him,” said Paige, turning to face Sami, Dean and Bayley. “He tries to take over at least twice a week, it gets super annoying. But now I’m here, Paige Dark’ness, the _real_ gym leader.”

“Is it true though? About the woofs?” asked Dean.

Paige smiled mysteriously. “You’ll have to go there and find out for yourself, won’t you?” she said. “But for what it’s worth, I’ve found the wolves have never been quite as dangerous as the _sheep_. Now, who wants to fight?”

Sami’s team suffered against her Sneazel, Bayley had trouble with the Murkrow that had chased off the Poochyena, and Dean’s Rattatas only barely managed to take down Paige’s Zoroark, but one way or another, each of them managed to defeat all three of her Pokémon. They walked proudly past the pillars into the sunny beach town with their new Ebony badges.

 

(-o-)

 

“Thanks Mojo!”

“SO LONG, BAYLEY! STAY HYPED!”

“So, where to now?” Dean asked, pouring his Pokéballs back into his backpack. It sounded a little like someone tilting a rainstick.

“Catch the ferry, I suppose. The next gym is on Armbar island, right?” Sami asked. “Hey Dean, if we get rods too, Bay can teach us how to fish on our way there!”

“Oh, yay! And I can see if I can finally catch-” what Bayley wanted to catch was drowned out, since a solid wall of muscle barged into the three of them.

“Armbar Island? You three beat Baron Corbin at the Moonsault gym?”

“Well one of those statements is definitely true,” said Dean through a mouthful of gum. “And you are...?”

“I’m Rhyno, and I want to fight!”

“Ooh, can I take this one you guys?” Bayley asked. “I know we just had a gym battle, but I’m still feeling so pumped from our footchase earlier!”

“Please, be our guest,” said Sami with a smile. He loved watching Bayley take down overly macho trainers, and this man seemed to fit that description exactly.

“I don’t know what Pokémon you have, little girl, but they can’t beat my Gore!”

“Why do people keep _calling_ me that!” Bayley looked down at her Pokéballs, selecting one carefully. “Go, Creampuff!”

Her Marill looked tiny in front of Rhyno’s massive Pokémon, but Dean and Sami waited confidently for the Pokédex to load. (“ _You have to understand, when you slapped me across the face, you sealed your own destiny..._ ”)

“Isn’t there a way to turn those off?” Dean asked.

Sami shrugged. “Professor Undertaker’s trainer tips are pretty weird, but he _was_ the unbeaten champ of his generation.”

“Go on Creampuff, Play Rough! Now Aqua Ring! Bubble Beam!”

Rhyno’s Pokémon collapsed mid-charge. Marill danced for joy while Bayley cheered.

“I can see I underestimated you,” said Rhyno. “That was intense. You really are a good trainer. No wonder you were able to beat Baron.”

Dean had a sudden coughing fit that sounded a lot like ‘Poochyena.’ Sami ignored him. “Hey Rhyno, where did you get your Pokémon? My Dex says it’s really rare!”

“What, Gore?” he asked. “Yeah, Rhyhorn are rare, but they’re the best. I spent a lot of time in the Safari Zone looking for him.”

“The Safari Zone? Where’s that? I’d love to see some rare Pokémon.”

“It’s just outside town, it goes on for miles.” Rhyno patted the headplate of his Rhyhorn before summoning it back to its Pokéball. “That was fun,” he told Bayley, handing her the winnings. “I’m going to train and become stronger, so I don’t lose next time.”

“Yeah! You can do it!” Bayley gave him a big hug, which seemed to startle him beyond words.

“You really are a hugger, aren’tcha Bayley,” observed Dean.

“I just don’t see why people think being a good Pokémon trainer means you have to be _mean_ all the time!”

Dean laughed, scruffling her and Sami’s hair at the same time. “Come on kiddos, let’s go check out this Safari Zone.”

 

(-o-)

 

“Name?”

“Sami Zayn.” The caretaker of the Safari Zone sneered at them with obvious distaste as he noted their names down in his logbook. He was probably a nice person, under the right circumstances, Sami figured, but ‘being caretaker of the Safari Zone’ didn’t seem to be those circumstances.

“And you?”

“Dean Gofuckyourself.”

“Ha ha. You?”

“Bayley Rose.”

“Rose?” He perked up. “Like Roselia? If you’re a grass trainer, perhaps you’d be interested in joining my club...”

“Oh, sorry -” she peered at his name badge “-CJ, I’m actually interested in water type Pokémon.”

“ _Water types_ ,” CJ said with a sneer. “You people disgust me. Don’t you know that catching wild water Pokémon causes severe upsets in the food chains of our waterways? You’re stealing endangered creatures from their homes and unbalancing delicate ecosystems. Humans truly are a plague upon the beautiful earth.”

“Excuse _me_ ,” snapped Bayley, clearly having been insulted one time too many today, “but don’t _you_ know the trainers at the Surfboard Bay Aquarium have been instrumental in the rehabilitation of numerous marine species that would otherwise be severely endangered and misunderstood? And it was Frogsplash’s own water specialist Ed Remora who identified the problem of Remoraid overfishing? And it was his activism and the activism of water trainers like him which led to changes in international laws concerning the capture and training of rare Pokémon?”

“Ugh,” said CJ, clearly not listening to a word she said. He waved the three of them into the Safari Zone muttering, “You’re _all_ part of the problem...”

The Safari Zone was _massive,_ as Rhyno had promised, stretching for miles and miles all the way to the base of the nearest mountain. Even though CJ Parker had explained in the most reluctant terms possible that he was contractually required to give them these Safari Balls with which they _could_ catch Pokémon, and that he would come down on them with all of mother nature’s fury if they dared battle or injure them, the Hugtrio found it surprisingly easy to relax amidst the beautiful scenery.

“Look Bayley, I caught a Heracross! And a Zangoose! And – I think there’s a Pineco over there!”

“That’s so great Sami! I hope you catch it, I’m not leaving this lake until I get a Poliwag!”

Herds of Zebstrika bounded across the plains further on, the distant noises of grunting and stomping still loud enough to drown out the other visitors nearby (“You’ve got to hold Down and press B if you want to keep it!” “I swear to god, I don’t understand half of what you’re saying most of the time.”). It occurred to Sami, watching the trees sway from the effects of the distant Tropiuses, that this plain nestled between two lines of mountains is probably what Frogsplash could have looked like long ago before the ground became agitated and cut off from the rest of the mainland. Such diversity, so many large Pokémon roaming free...

“Sami,” Dean murmured. “Don’t. Move.”

Sami froze, hearing a rustling in the tall grass behind him. He fought the urge to spin and look, right up until he felt a tiny, furry mouth nibbling at his fingers.

“ _A baby Deerling!_ ” he gasped. The pink Pokémon stood not much higher than his knee, and looked up at him with big eyes.

“Deer deer?” it said.

“That is the without a doubt the cutest thing I have ever seen,” Dean whispered, approaching slowly. “Sami, you’re like a Disney princess or something!”

“Hey little buddy,” said Sami. He held out a hand, hoping to the Deerling would let him pet it. “Hey little guy, do you want us to be friends?”

The grass around him burst into a wall of flame, and Sami was so startled that for a moment he was sure he imagined the voice saying, “get away from my Pokémon, asshole!” He jumped out of the way of the fire, trying to stomp it out before it could spread. When he looked up, the Deerling was being returned to its Pokéball in a blur of red light.

“Well, well, well,” said Kevin Owens, hand on the back of a fiery Ponyta. “If it isn’t Sami Zayn, the worst baker in Frogsplash, trying to steal other people’s Pokémon. Guess you’re not that good a trainer either, huh?”

“Sami? Dean? Are you two alright? I heard a – oh. Kevin.” Bayley stood with her arms crossed, not quite between Sami and Kevin. Dean had no idea what was going on, but found himself reaching inside a pocket for a Pokéball, just in case.

“Hey Bayley, it’s nice to see you out here. I guess Sami needed someone even more pathetic along, so he could convince himself he was doing well?”

“Whoa, back off buddy,” said Dean, pushing past the other two. Sami seemed to be rooted to the spot. “I don’t know what your deal is, but if you have a problem with my friends, you have a problem with _me_.”

Kevin backed away, lifting his hands amicably. “Nothing going on here, I’m just trying to catch some Pokémon with my own pals. Hey, guys!”

A pair of majestic Sawsbuck came through the long grass behind him, followed by their trainers. “Hi!” said the one with the lighter hair, shaking hands with Bayley, Sami, and Dean in turn. “I’m Matt Jackson, this is my brother Nick, and we are having _so_ much fun being included in this even though we’re not with the WWE!”

“The W-W- _what_?” asked Dean.

Nick whispered something in Matt’s ear, and he smacked his forehead dramatically. “Of _course!_ Well, never mind. Do you like our Pokémon? Saws _bucks_ , geddit? We’re keeping with the theme of the AU.”

“Yeah, uh-huh, we all tuned you out like five sentences ago,” said Kevin.

“Just because you don’t understand our humour doesn’t mean it isn’t effing glorious,” said Nick.

“Sorry about them, they’re from out of town, I think,” Kevin said. Bayley cast a worried glance at Sami, who was clenching his fists.

“Yeah, we are, and we’d really appreciate it if you three would consider buying some of our shirts while we’re here. Only 19.99 USD before tax! It’s a real bargain!”

“What the hell is a USD?” asked Dean, apparently not tuning them out at all.

“Listen, will you two shut up? You’re ruining a moment!”

“Oops, sorry chief!”

“Yep, sorry, we’ll just fade into the background text, you won’t even know we’re here.”

“Anyway,” Kevin said, centre stage again and bearing the world’s most insincere smile. “How’s it going, Sami? Caught any good Pokémon in the Safari Zone? How many?”

“Enough,” said Sami. Dean cast a worried glance back at him. He’d never heard Sami sounding so tense.

“Ooh, he’s so cryptic! How much is ‘enough’? More than five? Less than five?”

“What do you want, Kevin?”

“Less than five? Oh Sami, Sami, Sami, that’s just disappointing for everyone, isn’t it?” Kevin shook his head, and Bayley stepped forward to flank Dean on Sami’s other side. Kevin’s genial and relaxed nature couldn’t fool them.

“I just wanted to congratulate you on how well you’re doing! You _are_ trying to become champ, right? It’s only for the region, but someone like you has got to set their sights low. It’ll be fun to compete against you, since I’m going to be champion soon.”

“I’d like to see you try,” said Bayley darkly.

“Sure, you can come along! I’d love to have company! I’ll be facing the Elite Four, when do you think guys, the next few days?”

“Time is fluid in a written medium,” Matt Jackson said.

“Thanks, you’re a big help. But it must be the same for you too, right Sami? I mean, it’s not like you’d _only_ be on the third gym, not after you left town with that whole pretty speech about _proving_ yourself and finding your _purpose_.”

“I’m a better trainer than you’ll ever be!” Sami spat.

Kevin spread his hands, smile growing wider. “Well in that case, how about a fight?”

“I don’t think we’re supposed to fight in here,” Bayley began, but Kevin didn’t seem to hear her. His eyes were locked onto Sami’s. Sami was breathing hard with his fists clenched. He seemed unable to look away.

“Come on, Sami? Just one fight? You do know the rules, don’t you, you’re not allowed to run from a trainer battle.”

“Sami, you don’t have to do this,” Bayley warned, edging closer to her friend. Dean looked past Kevin, keeping an eye on the two brothers in case either of them tried to interfere.

“Oh but he _does_ , Bayley, trainers have to fight when their eyes meet! Even children know that. Unless you’re a coward, of course.”

Sami pulled off his flatcap and paced for a few seconds, apparently at war with himself. He groaned loudly as he tugged on his short hair, then pushed past his friends to tap Kevin on the chest. “Fine, you’ll have your match. Right here, three Pokémon. I’m going to wipe the floor with your sorry ass.”

“Well so long as it’s cleaner than the floor of your bakery display room,” said Kevin with a faux-casual shrug. “His shop was _filthy_ , it’s no wonder he got run out of business,” he stage-whispered to Dean.

Bayley’s indignant “ _That’s not true!_ ” was drowned out by Sami’s grunt of rage as he unsnapped a Pokéball from his belt.

“Come on, Sprout!”

“Wow! That’s _really_ interesting strategy, Sami!” said Kevin. “You saw I had a fire type out, so you decided to use your Ivysaur! What a genius!”

Damnit, he was right, Sami realised. No matter. Sprout had been with Sami from the start, they could pull through this together.

“Ponyta, fire spin!”

“Wait no!” yelled Bayley, grabbing a Pokéball. “Snickerdoodle, use water gun before the rest of the field catches fire!”

“Interference! The ponytail one is interfering!” one of the Jacksons said, pointing. The Sawsbucks advanced on Bayley’s Starmie. Dean brought out a Raticate to cover its twelve.

“You use that water gun during someone else’s match, we’re gonna have to get involved too,” shrugged Matt. “It’s only fair.”

“But we’re standing in a field of dry grasses! The entire area will catch fire if we don’t control the blaze!”

Kevin shrugged, apparently not bothered by the sparks crackling by his feet. “Or Sami could give up,” he said. “He’s pretty good at that.”

Sami felt like his anger was burning him up from the inside out. “Sprout, use razor leaf!” he ordered, not thinking about how silly a move that was. Less than a quarter of the missiles hit their mark, the rest burning up before they even made it halfway. Kevin got in a fire spin in before Sami remembered to use a poison attack, and then another. Sami bit his knuckles as he watched his Pokémon cringing under the blistering heat of the flames. Why didn’t he have a water Pokémon yet?

Unable to see his partner suffering a minute longer, Sami called “Sprout! Return!” just as the Ponyta reared back to stomp with its powerful hooves. Kevin crowed.

“One down!”

Cursing himself for not having – what, prepared for this? For seeing _Kevin_ here, of all people? When he’d seen the name on the victory pillar earlier, Sami told himself it _must_ mean someone else, there’s no way his luck could be this bad. But apparently it was. He brought out Sneezy, and the Axew looked up at him with affection.

“Gonna need your help here, little guy,” Sami said, and Sneezy crouched into a fighting stance. “Dragon claw, now!”

After a hard fight, Sneezy took down Kevin’s Ponyta, but Kevin only smirked as he brought out a fully evolved Nidoqueen. Bayley, seeing the fire Pokémon had been recalled, made a frustrated noise at the Jacksons and proceeded to stomp out as much of the fire as she could herself.

Kevin’s Nidoqueen was faster and stronger than Sami’s Axew. Even though he got some good hits in, it was inevitable that Sami’s Pokémon collapsed under the powerful swipes. He ran a hand over his face in worry. He only had one _big_ Pokémon, and it was, well...

“Come on! Let’s finish this!” Sami threw the Safari Ball down. It was a bad idea. It was such a bad idea. He’d just caught this Zangoose, they hadn’t trained together at all. He didn’t even know what _moves_ it had, beyond vague guessing from the things he’d read in his Pokédex earlier. The red and white Pokémon shook itself off and reared back to its full height, looking the Nidoqueen dead in the eyes. The drill Pokémon took an earth-juddering step forwards.

“Oh this is just _too good,_ ” said Kevin, making Sami’s stomach drop. “Nidoqueen, return! Go, Seviper!”

Before Sami could even process what was happening, he saw the fur on his Zangoose’s back all stand on end. There was a hiss and a snarl, and the two Pokémon tore off, attacking each other in mindless fury. Sami tried to call out moves, but his Zangoose didn’t listen to him at all, too caught up in the battle. Kevin laughed as his Seviper brought the Zangoose down.

“Well, that was disappointing,” he sighed, heavy with sarcasm. Sami recalled his own fainted Pokémon in silence. “It’s really exhausting being better than you at _everything_ , Sami. Some kind of a challenge would be nice. It’s all I ask of you. But oh well, I guess I should know your limitations by now.”

“And if you’re not going to buy our shirts -”

“Also available online!”

“- We’ll just collect the winnings from this match, thanks,” said Matt, leaning over his Sawsbuck to Sami with false courtesy. Bayley tugged him aside and shoved a fistful of cash into his hand.

“There. Now leave us alone.”

“Yeah, let’s get out of here,” Kevin said. “I’ve got a busy schedule after all, lots of battles to win. Smell ya later, Sami! Come on, Bucks!”

“Now that’s what I call bringing effing heel heat!”

“I swear, if either of you makes one more incomprehensible comment, I’m abandoning you at the next Poké Centre.”

“Nice, we _love_ the Hype Bro!”

There was a long silence between the three of them leaving and the Nincada beginning their noisy hum again. Sami stood in the charred, smoking grass without moving. Bayley approached with caution, not wanting to hurt him further.

“...Sami?”

“I didn’t run away!” he shouted, and kicked up a chunk of earth. “How could he say – argh! I just wanted take a break for the a couple months! Do _something_ without him there, being better than me, but I guess I _can’t!_ ”

“That man is _not_ better than you,” Bayley hissed, but Sami only tugged at his hair.

“Really? What just happened here then?” Sami could feel tears of frustration stinging his eyes again, could feel the shame growing, and then he could feel a warm body grabbing him.

“I’ve got your back,” Dean was saying, hands loose around Sami like he was trying for some kind of vague headlock. His face was in Sami’s hair, looking more like he’d fallen over on top of the redhead than like he was hugging him. “You’re down but you’re not gonna stay down, and we are gonna train with you until you kick that fucker’s ass, you got me?” Sami nodded, still unable to believe what had happened. Dean pulled away, keeping a hand on Sami’s shoulder. “Bayley and me, we have got your back in this fight, you got me?”

“He’s right,” Bayley said, taking her turn to wrap Sami in a hug. “Kevin is really, really mean, and you’d be a much better champion than him, any day. We’re going to train really hard and all get strong together, okay?”

Sami drew one last deep breath, and then nodded. “Okay. Yes. You’re right. I’m not going to let him keep me down again.”

“ _Damn_ straight!” Dean said, clapping them both on the shoulders. “Now, since we set the park on fire, we’re probably going to have to hop the fence or Dreadlocks will kill us. But don’t worry about it; I have broken out of a _lot_ of national heritage sites in my time. Does either of you have a shovel?”

 

(-o-)

 

“That was fun, but I’m sure glad to be out of this place,” Sasha said with a stretch, returning her unused Safari Balls to the box CJ Parker was holding out.

Tyler did the same. “So long, uggo overlord! Enjoy washing your face with bargain-brand handsoap!”

The other trainers in the Safari Centre glared at them. Or at least Tyler thought they did. It was hard to tell, since their faces were so uggo-rific. Khaki jackets with sweatstains, unwashed hair, no makeup and not in the rockin’ natural look way that Team Gorgeous sometimes went for when they wanted to wow people. It was all extremely distressing. He was pretty sure the Warden told them to get out of his sight, but Tyler chose to ignore the words of anyone who so clearly wouldn’t know what to do with an eyelash curler if it bit them on the eyelash.

“I love this new Joltik, but it’s such a relief to be able to bring Butterfree back now we’re out of the reserve,” Xavier said, throwing his Pokéball high into the air. “Go free, Big B!”

His Butterfree had evolved at the dark gym, and they’d been inseparable ever since. Tyler couldn’t help a fond smile watching the purple Pokémon settle on his friend’s hair, chirping quietly while Xavier giggled.

“Aaw, you guys are so _cute_ ,” Sasha sighed. “Remind me to get some extra Poffins for Butterfree when I’m in town buying a ribbon for Togepi.”

“Are you sure you were meant to catch a Pokémon that’s still in its egg?” Tyler asked, but Sasha waved him quiet.

“The Pokédex says that’s normal at this stage in her evolution. It’s fine to be a late bloomer! I think I’m going to call her – is that a Pidgey?” Sasha leapt into the bushes where something gave an angry cry. “Never mind, false alarm, only a Metapod.”

“Why would you want to catch a Pidgey though?” asked Tyler, bewildered. “They’re such uggo common Pokémon, your Emolga is _way_ more gorgeous than any Pidgey.”

For some reason, Sasha looked embarrassed. “It’s... It’s something called EV training,” she said, pretending to adjust her LEGIT and BOSS rings. “ _Serious_ trainers will... When you beat a quick Pokémon, your own Pokémon gets practice that makes it a little faster? So if you spend a lot of time between gyms fighting low-level Pokémon, your team gets more practice? I figured if Haruka had more speed before she evolved into Sandslash...”

“Wow, Sasha, that’s so cool!” Xavier said. “Where did you learn that?”

“Why would you want to spend so much time fighting boring Pidgeys though?” Tyler asked. “Your team is already good. It sounds like this kind of thing is for dull losers who are afraid of a challenge.”

“You think so?” Sasha asked. Her voice sounded strange, shy almost. Tyler wasn’t sure how to respond, so he took a few selfies with her, Xavier jumping in behind them to pull faces. They all came out looking gorgeous, duck faces on point. Tyler posted the best ones to all the relevant social media.

“So... Do you want to hang around here?” Xavier asked. “I’m sure we could find some Pidgeys and whatever else gives EVs if you-”

“No!” said Sasha. “No, I – let’s all hit the town and then catch the boat to Armbar Island. It’ll be fun, taking a cruise together.”

“Yeah,” agreed Tyler. “And at least on cruises people are attractive; some of the trainers hanging around here look _suspiciously_ ugly. Shouldn’t the police be stopping them or something?”

“Yeah, it smells like their vegan deodorant puts a lot more effort into being vegan than into being deodorant,” said Xavier, and he and Tyler laughed. Sasha looked fondly at the two goofballs.

“Come on guys,” she said. “Let’s get gelato and Poffins.”

 

(-o-)

 

“He said he’d meet us by the pier,” said Sasha with a shrug. She and Tyler were enjoying the sun by the SS Molly now they’d finished their shopping. Tyler was about to begin worrying for his missing friend when he saw Xavier running towards them from behind a parked truck.

“Guys! Guys! You’ll never _believe_ what I just found! It’s so great!”

“A Sephora?” asked Tyler hopefully.

“What? No, there aren’t any in the region; why did you even ask, Breezie, I _know_ you get text updates from their headquarters.”

“Gorgeous hope springs eternal.”

“Anyway, what I did find was – ta-da! A random draw of Pokémon eggs from the local fishermen! At bargain prices! I got one for each of us!” Xavier handed them two large eggs with faint patterns on. Sasha gave a rueful smile.

“Xave, you _know_ random selections are terrible nine times out of ten,” she said, taking hers anyway.

“Oh come on Sasha, where’s your positivity? It’ll be so much fun, watching them grow, raising them from hatchlings, even if they aren’t the coolest out there!”

Sasha gave him a peck on the cheek. “Thanks Xavier, I do appreciate it.”

Tyler, blushing, kissed his friend’s other cheek as he took his egg. “Yeah, just so long as you don’t get lured in by anyone selling you golden Magikarp at five hundred apiece,” he teased, cuffing his friend on the shoulder in a totally manly fashion.

“Oh come on Tyler,” Xavier said, shoving him back. Sasha held Tyler’s egg while they tussled, and continued holding it while Xavier fixed Tyler’s hair back into its bun after. After all, no _real_ friend would let someone walk around with hair whips. The SS Molly blew its horn to announce boarding, and they set off together for Armbar Island.

 

(-o-)

 

Sasha disappeared as soon as they got on board, saying she wanted to spend time studying her Pokédex. Tyler did a tour of the deck to see if there were any other supermodels on board, but alas, the other passengers ranged from generic to shockingly uggo. Oh well. With no one to keep his interest, he made his way to the stern where Xavier dangling his legs over the side, watching the land sink away into an orange sunset.

Xavier didn’t look up as Tyler approached, humming to himself until he reached the song’s chorus. When he did, he leant back and broke into a loud, obscenely off-key caterwaul: “ _I feel! In my boooan!_ ” Tyler wasn’t able to restrain his laughter as he sat down next to him, taking up the song whenever Xavier paused. It was a game they’d played a lot before, each taking turns to see who could sing worse than the other, laughing until they couldn’t breathe. Xavier won this time, yelling “ _The apocalypse!_ ” in Tyler’s face with such a silly expression he forgot the rest of the lyrics. All he could do was wheeze for a solid minute while Xavier grinned proudly.

A Pelipper flew overhead.

“Wow,” Xavier murmured as Tyler recovered. “You’re really beautiful when you’re not trying.”

Tyler looked up so suddenly he forgot about the sun and nearly blinded himself. “Ack! What? How am I meant to do that? What does not trying look like?” He screwed up his face, trying to not try extra hard. It made Xavier laugh again.

“Tyler stop, you’re always beautiful, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said. “But you spend so much time looking professional with the modelling, I sometimes forget how different you look when you’re relaxed.”

Tyler stared at his friend in surprise; he spent so much time keeping his guard up, he almost forgot it was there. But Xavier could always see through him.

Xavier examined him, hair framing his face glowing in the pink of the sunset. “Yeah,” he said. “That look.”

Tyler flushed and broke eye contact, pretending to focus on throwing the tuft of fur his waistcoat had moulted into the sea.

The ship rocked on a particularly large swell, spraying sea mist onto the deck. Xavier laughed, but Tyler remembered with growing horror that he’d gone for lengthening instead of waterproofing that day.

“Xavier,” he said, slowly and seriously. “Look at my face. Is it okay?”

“Yeah, of course it is, why do you-”

“No, Xavier, look closely.”

Xavier obligingly leant in. “What am I looking for?”

“I think the waves are going to make my mascara run.”

“Are you – oh wait, there it is, on the left one a bit.”

The boat rocked again, splashing them some more, and Tyler scrambled to his feet. “Hurry! We have to see if someone on this ship has makeup wipes! Francesca can break down doors, right?”

“Well yes, she’s learnt Strength,” Xavier said, standing. “But we can’t just go breaking into people’s rooms.”

“Xavier! My mascara is _running!_ ”

“You’re right! It’s an emergency! People will understand!” Tyler wasn’t sure if his friend fully agreed with him; Xavier, for someone so smart, had never been as into the beauty industry as himself. But regardless, he seemed to be taking Tyler’s worry seriously; he was the first one to reach the door to the lower decks, shouting “ _Come on!_ ” with the same intensity that he did for trainer battles.

The first three rooms they broke into contained nothing but animal masks and unnecessarily organic products, making them both cringe. “What’s with all this hemp?” moaned Xavier in despair as they ripped through the strangers’ suitcases. “Why are these people so afraid of chemicals?”

“I don’t – Xavier! Why are you looking in the trash? I’m not using hippie trash wipes!”

“There could be Great Balls in here!”

“I’ll _buy_ you Great Balls, move!”

The fourth room seemed to belong to a hardy fisherman, and contained nothing but nets. The fifth room contained a person.

“What the bloody – you can’t just break in here!” said the well-dressed man, grabbing a pair of Pokéballs when he saw Tyler, Xavier, and their Grovyle crashing through the doorframe.

“Uh-oh!” yelled Xavier. “The gentleman wants to fight!”

“Growlithe! Arcanine! I choose you!” said the gentleman, two leonine dogs erupting in the small room with a crackling noise.

“Francesca, return! Go, Butterfree!”

“And come on Princess, help me out!”

“Bit foolish, don’t you think?” commented the gentleman. “Bringing out a bug type to fight a pair of fire types. Arcanine, fire fang!”

At their trainers’ orders, Princess jumped in front of the flames, diffusing them while Butterfree flew to safety.

“Butterfree is at its final stage of evolution, and totally clutch,” said Xavier with a grin. “A strong Pokémon with decent training can overcome any weakness, don’t you agree, Tyler? Stun spore!”

“Indeed I do, Xavier,” said Tyler. “Princess, let’s try psyshock!” Princess nodded, reaching into her tail to direct her power with –

“What in the blazes is _that?_ ”

“A selfie stick? Duh?”

“Your Braxien uses a _selfie stick_ instead of a regular one? Flamethrower.”

“She likes it?” shrugged Tyler. “And she should, it’s Chanel. Follow Butterfree’s whirlwind with a fire spin!”

“But it’s – no, that’s not important right now. What’s important is you ruffians broke in here with intent to steal from me, and even if I am retired, I will not stand for it! Takedown!”

“We were only going to steal makeup wipes, if you had any!” said Xavier as his Butterfree headbutted the Arcanine.

“Yeah, and you actually might, since your hair is kind of gorgeous,” added Tyler. “What kind of volumising shampoo do you use?”

The gentleman’s Arcanine collapsed onto the smaller Growlithe, and he sat down on the bed, laughing until he got tears in his eyes. “Oh, go on then!” he said. “This was a good fight; I’ll do you one better. My name’s William Regal, I used to specialise in Pokémon evolution. Would you like a reward for winning?”

Regal brought out makeup remover and cotton swabs for Tyler, and also a briefcase.

“Wow, what are those?” asked Tyler. “They aren’t gemstones.”

“No, they’re evolution stones!” gasped Tyler. “And you have so many of them! Look – a fire stone! And here’s a mail coat, Tyler, you could use it on the Scyther you caught, turn it into a Scizor! And a water stone! And – what’s that one?”

“A King’s Rock, from the king himself,” said Regal, with a proud smile. “You really know your evolution.” _He really does_ , Tyler thought. When he’d caught the Scyther in the Safari Zone, he hadn’t even known it could evolve. “Well go on; I am retiring, so I won’t have much use for these anymore, plus I have my full collection at home. You can each pick a stone, if you’d like.”

Xavier took a fire stone. Tyler took the mail coat, not knowing what else to do, and hesitated. “Do you think we should ask if we can take one for Sasha too? She’ll be sorry she missed out.”

“That’s a really great idea, Breezie!” Xavier looked hopefully at William Regal, who nodded. “Go on! Which do you think we should pick?”

Tyler stared down at the box blankly. “Erm.” Why was Xavier asking him? Tyler didn’t know any of this! Beside him, Xavier and the gentleman were talking about which fire types evolve using stones, and whether there is a strength difference between induced evolutions versus natural ones. Tyler bit his lip until he reminded himself that chapped lips sink shoots. He pursed his lips instead.

“How about this one?” he said, holding up a glowing stone that was so pretty Sasha couldn’t turn it down.

“Tyler, you’re a genius!” exclaimed Xavier. “I’m pretty sure shiny stones are useful for Togepi evolutions?” Regal nodded and talked a bit more about something boring before sending them on their way.

“How did you know all that?” Tyler asked as Butterfree settled itself on Xavier’s shoulder. Princess tucked the selfie stick back into her tail. “All about the stones and stuff?”

“I’ve always wanted to be a Pokémon master,” Xavier said, giving Tyler a confused smile. “You knew that.”

“Yeah, but...” It was one thing to _want_ something; Tyler had always wanted to be the very best too, and the most gorgeous, and, well, lots of things. But you couldn’t simply go out and make that _happen_ , not really, could you? (Tyler was painfully aware that this logic didn’t hold up, because he _was_ the gorgeousest, but worrying gives you wrinkles so he re-tied his man bun and thought about something else.)

When they got back to their room, Sasha was sitting cross-legged on the bed with Togepi and her new egg in her lap, reading passages from the Pokédex out loud to Usagi the Jigglypuff. She looked tired, but her face lit up with mirth as they told her a vivid and dramatic version of their adventure. Tyler draped himself over the fuzzy body of the Jigglypuff, fixing its curl as Xavier lay across his two human friends, crushing their legs entirely. Tyler didn’t complain.

 

(-o-)

 

“An island seems like a weird place to have a fire gym,” Xavier said, stepping off the boat. “And what’s with this weird beach?” The sand was streaked with swirls of black, like trails of soot that stretched all along the shoreline. 

“Weird,” Tyler agreed. They made a quick stop at the Poké Centre to heal their Pokémon, and then followed the signs up to the gym, high up the skinny ridge of rock that formed Armbar Island. The dirt path was strangely springy, as though covered with skinny roots or dried algae that had been washed up over years of storms and packed down by feet.

“So who goes first this time?” asked Tyler as they walked through the pillars into the small building. “Xave, you went last time, and Sasha was first at the Hurricanrana gym, so I guess I’ll-”

“You three here for a battle?” came a woman’s voice from across the gym. “M’afraid I’m the only one around at the moment, but I’m more than enough to take ya on!”

“I’m going first,” muttered Sasha, pushing past the boys. “Hold Chibiusa.” She thrust Togepi into Tyler’s arms. Obligingly, he and Xavier backed up to the benches against the wall, and got ready to watch.

The gym was small, one room with a dirt battlefield and windows on all sides overlooking the sea. Sasha stood at one end, silent, with her hand on her Pokéball belt. The gym leader was nowhere to be seen until a wall of flame burst into existence at the other end, and the accented woman’s voice announced, “are you ready! It’s time for the 100% straight fire lass! The one! The only! The leader who’s going to kick your ass, Becky Lyn- Sasha?”

The leader burst through the flames in her leather coat and welder’s goggles, moving them up to her forehead to peer across the field.

“Sasha Banks? I haven’t seen you since you set off with Charlotte! How have you been?”

“Fine,” answered Sasha, shoulders still tense. “You’re a gym leader.” Tyler and Xavier’s heads snapped back and forth like it was a tennis match.

Becky laughed and rubbed at her fiery red hair. “Yeah! It’s a little new – we were only accredited by the Pokémon league a few years ago. I’ve been studying under the old leader for a while, but he said I was ready to take over some responsibilities.”

“Hmm,” was all Sasha said, running her hands over her shrunken Pokéballs.

“But of course the _real_ question is,” said Becky with a grin, seeing Sasha was focussed on the fight. “Do you have what it takes to get to the next level?”

“You know I do,” said Sasha. “I’m the Boss.”

“The Legit Boss versus Straight Fire. Let’s have a good battle! Go, Volcarona!”

If Tyler or Xavier had thought they knew what to expect from this battle, they were proved wrong from the moment Volcarona burst from its Pokéball in a shimmer of red scales that drifted towards the ground like snow, only to erupt into flames a foot high. Tyler had never known a bug Pokémon, _any_ Pokémon, could cause such a stunning display. The tongues of flame died down, only to spring back anew with every beat of its wings.

“Oh shit,” muttered Xavier. “Butterfree, return! It’s too dangerous for you out here.”

Sasha smiled, and through the heat haze, Tyler could see she had her game face on. Becky slipped her welding goggles back over her eyes.

“A little fire isn’t going to scare me. Go, Artemis!” Sasha’s Emolga flew out over the battlefield, catching the updraft of the flames to soar up to the rafters, where it perched and waited for instructions.

The Volcarona flew up after it, bringing its trail of fire dangerously close to the wood structure of the building, Tyler felt. Sasha’s Emolga matched it for speed; the two Pokémon shot back and forth faster than the eye could follow. The spectators only knew where they were from the crackle of electricity and the bursts of fire that streaked this way and that across the gym. Sasha and Becky’s cries of _flame wheel! Shock wave!_ rattled the windows as the fire and lightning swirled higher and higher around each other. Then, as if time froze, Tyler spotted the Volcarona – shining like the sun, hovering in midair, right as Sasha shouted _aerial ace!_

The Emolga seemed to strike it from six directions at once, and they both fell to the ground in a blossom of flame.

“Volcarona, return!” said Becky, bringing out a second Pokéball. “Alright Sasha, now get ready for – Monferno!”

“Alright – go, Usagi!”

“That Monferno is a fighting type,” whispered Xavier to Tyler, one hand pressed tight over Sasha’s Pokédex speakers so Professor Undertaker’s creepy trainer tips didn’t disrupt the battle. “Why is Sasha bringing out Jigglypuff? It has no advantage!”

“I don’t know, but look at her.” They did. Sasha was glaring onto the field like it had personally offended her.

The Monferno hopped forwards a few feet, swinging its flaming tail in front as a weapon. “Usagi, come back to me,” called out Sasha, and her Pokémon waddled to the far end next to her. “Well Usagi,” she said, more quietly, “you know what to do.”

The Jigglypuff looked up, nodded, and inflated like a balloon. Tyler and Xavier elbowed each other, plugging their fingers in their ears.

They saw, rather than heard, the Jigglypuff singing. Becky and her Monferno seemed to realise what was going on, attempting a direct attack before the song could finish, but Sasha’s Pokémon pounded it into submission long enough to send it to sleep.

“Good work, Usagi!” she said. “Now, quickly, Haruka, finish it off!” The tiny Sandshrew dove into the ground, tearing a deep fissure that woke and swallowed the squawking monkey.

“Impressive submission work!” said Becky Lynch as she recalled the incapacitated Monferno. “But how will you fare against our gym mascot?”

Tyler could feel his skin cracking from the blistering heat generated by the next Pokémon that came out.

“Magmar,” it said, a blur of red and orange. Sasha’s eyebrows knitted as it walked forwards, picking up her Sandshrew in one hand and raising it high above its head in the centre of the tower of heat. The poor Sandshrew wriggled and squeaked, curling into a tight ball but unable to escape.

“Things are really heating up now, aren’t they?” said the gym leader. It looked like she was trying to wink through the dark goggles.

Xavier was having none of it.

“Come ooooooooooon, Haruka!” he yelled. “Best damn Sandshrew in the _region!_ On the _planet!_ This Magmar is small, hot potatoes to you!”

“Yeah!” yelled Tyler through cupped hands, balancing the Togepi delicately on his lap. “You can do it! Ignore this hot mess!”

Sasha seemed to almost laugh out loud at the silly insults. Her face relaxed again, and she called out, clear and intense: “Haruka! Just hang in there for a bit! It’s difficult, but I know you can do it.”

It did look hot though. It was hard to watch, as the yellow Sandshrew was illuminated by the orange glow, and then red, and then white –

“Is it hurt?” asked Tyler, concerned.

“No, it – look!”

Magmar groaned and let go, clutching its hand to its burning chest, as Haruka the _Sandslash_ fell to the floor.

“You did it! You evolved, for me!” beamed Sasha. “I knew you could make it! Now, let’s win this – climb, Haruka!”

While Becky was still trying to talk her Pokémon through its injury, pierced by the Sandslash’s spikes, Sasha’s Pokémon scampered up the walls and onto the rafters, then dove from above. The ball of spikes made the Magmar roar from surprise. The Sandslash then dove into the ground, digging fast, and burst back up right under the Magmar’s chin. With a groan, it toppled to the ground, and for a moment the only sound was a dry crackling.

“That was bleedin’ savage!” yelled Becky. “Sasha, you were amazing!”

Sasha looked exhausted, but finally cracked her first smile. “Thanks Becks. And for what it’s worth, I think you make a great gym leader.” Tyler couldn’t help noticing his friend was a lot friendlier now she had _won_.

“Aw, thanks Boss,” the redhead said, crossing the cracked and pitted battlefield to hug Sasha. “That means a lot – it’s only temporary for now, while the other leader and his family are on holiday, but -”

“You don’t have to be the best all at once,” said Sasha, with a certainty and gentleness that took Tyler aback. It wasn't like the Sasha he remembered from childhood. He cocked his head slightly, wondering what had changed. “It takes time to build a team and build confidence. But for what it’s worth, you _are_ one of the best. You absolutely deserve this.”

“Damn right!” said Xavier. “That was one of the greatest Pokémon battles I’ve ever seen!”

“ _The_ greatest,” said Tyler, and he meant it. Sasha grinned and slipped on her slotted glasses.

“Well of course it was the best, the Horsewomen are bound to bring the bleedin' house down whenever we get together!” said Becky. “Hey Sash, have you seen Bayley? She passed through here a few days ago, absolutely killed me with her water team.”

“Yes! She’s doing great! I’m so proud of her!”

“I’m surprised you’re not travelling together; who are these two?”

“We’re Sasha’s old friends from home,” said Tyler, handing Togepi back to Sasha. “Tombstone _represent!_ ” The egg Pokémon trilled happily.

“Yeah, it’s our job to raise the roof and bring the party,” announced Xavier, grabbing Sasha from behind for a hug. She laughed, whipping her head around and giving him a faceful of pink hair that he had to sneeze out of.

“Ah mate, that sounds so fun!” said Becky. “Maybe I should start travelling one of these days.”

“It’s not always fun,” Sasha said, frowning a little. “But this trip has been _totally_ awesome.”

“Say, why are you a fire gym on an island, anyway?” asked Xavier. “It seems a bit silly, anyone who comes here could grab a water Pokémon from ten feet away and beat you with it.”

“Well, I think I just proved that Armbar isn’t so easy to defeat as _that_ ,” said Becky, while Sasha nodded. “It takes time to gain the trust of a water Pokémon, same as any other. Did any of you catch one on the way here?”

Team Gorgeous looked at each other and realised in unison that they didn’t have a single water Pokémon between them. Becky laughed as though she could read their minds.

“The reason Armbar is known for its fire types is because we make all the charcoal for Frogsplash. You’ve seen the rocks out there – they’ve got veins of organic matter running through them like roots in the ground. The only way to get from the north of Frogsplash to the south is either over the mountains or all the way around Armbar, since the branch of the nearest range makes all those stone spears you passed on the way here. Armbar’s the only place with water deep enough for the ferry to get past.”

“So you get energy from burning rocks?” Tyler asked.

Becky shrugged. “That’s how I understand it. Something about the mountains being covered in vines back when the dinosaurs were here, but they must have gone extinct at the same time? I’m not a botanist, I just liked watching Pokémon playing in the firepits.”

Xavier gasped the loudest of them. “What kinds of fire Pokémon? Can we go see them? Can we catch them?”

Becky laughed, telling them to go check the far end of the island (“the elbow”) while she healed her Pokémon before facing the other two. Team Gorgeous climbed over the crest of the island, making their way down towards the plumes of smoke when Tyler spotted a glow coming from Sasha’s backpack.

“Sasha! Your egg! I think it’s hatching!”

They all gathered around, watching closely. The delicate shell cracked, opening to reveal a small, oddly-shaped lump of pink and white.

“It’s a Corsola!” squeaked Sasha. “It’s so _cute!_ ”

“Hey Tyler, I think ours are hatching too!” said Xavier, pulling out his own glowing egg. Tyler picked up his own. He shouldn’t be hoping that it’s a Volcarona – it was so stunning, like an event unto itself just by existing – there was very little chance he’d get something as good as that, or even as good as a Corsola, from a random uggo fishmonger.

His stamping down of hope was interrupted by a snort of laughter from Sasha.

“I’m sorry!” she said. “It’s just – _Xavier!_ ”

He looked down to see a large orange fish flopping in his friend’s lap.

“Oh my god Xavier,” Tyler chortled. “A Magikarp? Like Blue Pants had? You should name it Consequences, teach you not to spend money on suspicious seaside vendors again!”

Xavier scratched his head good-naturedly, digging out a spare Pokéball to officiate his ownership of the fish. “Yeah, alright, I was a bit dumb. It’s not Magikarp’s fault it got a dumb trainer like me though, don’t make fun of it!”

“Don’t make fun of it? It’s the most useless Pokémon since-” Tyler’s voice trailed off as he felt something wriggling in his hands. It was slimy, and definitely not a Volcarona.

The fish he was holding could favourably be described as turd-coloured. It looked less like a newborn and more like something that had already been run over by a truck several times. It was ragged and pitted and hideous.

“Well, that’s, um,” Sasha said.

“Yeah, it really, ah,” attempted Xavier.

“Feebas, feebas,” gasped the fish. It smelled like it was already dying. Tyler could feel his stomach turn as its roving, bulging eyes passed over him. Surely he didn’t deserve this.

“We will never talk about this, ever,” he said, trapping it in a Pokéball and shoving it far into his Louis Vutton, where he never need look at it again.

 

(-o-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ed Remora is Ed Ricketts because I’m a California kid with strong feelings about the Monterey Bay Aquarium :P Also, if you haven’t had the joy of hearing Xavier and Tyler singing Radioactive, [PLEASE CHECK IT OUT](http://transboyenzo.tumblr.com/post/88029827027/master-post-of-all-the-instagram-videos-of-tyler). It changed my life. 
> 
> Thanks this time to wibblywobblygenderywendery and invisible-goats, two great friends who were EXTREMELY HELPFUL in helping me figure out teams for the trios! If you’re curious, at the end of this chapter their teams consist of:
> 
> Tyler – Braxien, Roselia, Scyther, Cinccino, Feebas,  
> Xavier – Grovyle, Butterfree, Joltik, Gible, Magikarp  
> Sasha – Quilava, Jigglypuff, Emolga, Sandslash, Togepi, Corsola  
> Sami – Ivysaur, Axew, Sunflora, Zangoose, Heracross, Pineco  
> Bayley – Croconaw, Staryu, Marill, Poliwag  
> Dean – literally 40 Rattata (and Raticate)


	3. Rattle This Ghost Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pair of Ace Trainers gets Team Gorgeous off to a shaky start, but that doesn’t stop them from uncovering a fascinating piece of Pokémon history! However, the gyms our heroes are facing will be more challenging than ever before. Will their Pokémon – and their spirits – be tough enough to beat the odds? Only time will tell!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think things are finally spooky enough for me to reveal the marvellous [theme music](http://robintrigue.tumblr.com/post/150055824729/im-so-excited-to-be-able-to-share-this-incredible) made for this adventure by my wonderful friend [Nightwarbler](http://nightwarbler.bandcamp.com/)! Also if anyone with Spotify wants to check out my Power That's Inside playlist, [here you go](https://open.spotify.com/user/robintrigue/playlist/5xiwJy36IHG3NscmVmJfK7)!

 (-o-)

 

“Hey Tyler.”

“Hey Sasha.” The two of them watched Xavier, playing with his newly-caught Vulpix among the logs tugboats were dredging from the south to fuel the fire pits. “He seems to be having fun,” Tyler observed. Xavier was jumping from log to log, dodging flame attacks and laughing.

“Yeah,” Sasha agreed. “Training your Surskit?”

Tyler looked down at the bug that was scampering over his feet. “Figured if I’m going to get any farther I’ll need a water type.”

Sasha didn’t bring up the Feebas that was still stuffed at the bottom of his bag. She and her Corsola were already inseparable, and Xavier was even trying to do something with the Magikarp. Tyler just couldn’t bring himself to work with that ugly failure of a Pokémon.

Instead, to Tyler’s surprise, Sasha said, “I didn’t get this far last time.”

“Last time?”

Sasha didn’t look at him, picking at some bark and then examining her nails to get the bits out. “My – my _ex_ -girlfriend and I, we started a journey together. I didn’t make it though. If I’d had more time maybe...” She shook her head. “I am _better_ than her though. The world deserves to see how good Sasha Banks can be!”

Tyler smiled at her, ignoring the Surskit’s skinny legs pricking their way up his arm. He refused to let his own insecurities dampen the pride he felt for his friend. She _was_ a great trainer, one of the best in the world probably, always pushing her Pokémon just enough to succeed. She was standing with her hands on her hips now, staring across the ocean with fire in her eyes. The sea breeze blew her hair out behind her, colour fading to a magenta as they travelled. She turned back to him and grinned.

“So I just wanted to say, thank you.”

“Me?” asked Tyler, shocked. “What have I done?”

“I’ve been having a lot of fun with you and Xavier. I needed fun. I got so focussed on how to be the best I almost forgot I’m _already_ the best. So thanks.” She hugged him. “Now I’m going to go find that kid who said he’d trade a Flaaffy for a Flabébé. Good luck training!”

Tyler sighed as the Surskit danced up his leg. “Come on then,” he said, and stood. “Let’s try water gun again.”

It was hard to tell if the blue bug was simply small or too low a level, but its heart just didn’t seem to be in it; the water gun attack only put out a handful of embers that had drifted up the beach. The Surskit chirped and scuttled back to him.

“Well, it worked anyway,” Tyler muttered, allowing it to crawl onto his hand.

“Tyler! That was amazing!” Xavier jogged over to him, Vulpix at his heels, and something inside Tyler twisted strangely. He really wasn’t sure it had been amazing.

“Training going well?” he deflected.

“Yeah! Did you know Frogsplash has some of the best strains of fire Pokémon in the world? The charcoal burners were telling me, something about the swamp plants being even plant-ier than usual. Let me show you her newest move!”

“If you’re going to show off, why not try against us?” said a voice. Tyler and Xavier looked up to see a pair of trainers standing a small ways up the hill.

“What do ya say, Breezie?” asked Xavier, elbowing him in the side with a confident grin. “You bet we can take them?”

Tyler examined the two trainers. One of them had decent hair but was completely ruining the lines of his face with a terrible headband; the other looked alright, but was doing a really dorky smile with his face. “Yeah, we can beat them, easy,” he said.

“No way!” said the short one. “My boyfriend and I can’t lose, because we’re in love!”

The taller one beamed. “My boyfriend’s amazing! He’s so strong!”

“This’ll be the perfect time to try out our newest catches,” insisted Xavier. “Come on Surskit, Vulpix! We’re ready when you are!”

“Ready, willing -”

“-and Gable!” said the other trainers. They kissed enthusiastically. Tyler rolled his eyes.

The short trainer used a Drilbur and the tall one used a Skarmory, so it wasn’t going to be a lengthy battle against the Gorgeous water- and fire-types.

Or so they thought until the Drilbur disappeared underground, shaking the earth so the trainers and their Pokémon lost their footing, falling over one another. Tyler and Xavier ordered special attacks on the Skarmory at the same time, fire and water cancelling each other out into a veil of steam that hid the bird’s diving attack.

The mole Pokémon emerged from underground to grab Xavier’s Vulpix that had been knocked over. “Surskit, bubble!” yelled Tyler, seeing a chance to help his friend.

“Tyler no, Vulpix is weak to water too!”

“Shit! Surskit, don’t use bubble!” The bug chirped in confusion as Vulpix was dragged underground. Tyler peered after it, forgetting about the flying type until Surskit snatched by Skarmory’s talons and lifted high into the air.

It was a short battle after that.

“Dude, that was _sick!_ ” said the shorter trainer, jumping into his boyfriend’s arms. Tyler flounced off so he didn’t have to hear them going on about how _great_ and _in love_ they were and how that made them _such great trainers_. Xavier paid the forfeit for them.

“Well, the good news is Jason told me where to catch a Skarmory!” said Xavier when he found the blond waiting for the ferry that would take them south. “The bad news is, you or Sasha had better have enough to cover the boat tickets. I didn’t plan on losing that one; we may have to camp for a while.”

“Camping? Because of those uggos?” Tyler made a disgusted noise. “But my _nails_.”

“I know, I know,” said Xavier soothingly. “But look at it this way: we’ll still have a head start on everyone on the road who isn’t blessed with these natural good looks.”

It _was_ true, but Tyler still felt distressed for some reason. He decided to put an extra uppercoat on while they were waiting, just in case, but it was hard to do with this stupid sea air blowing in their faces and the dumb squawking Pelippers.

 

(-o-)

 

As Bayley was showing them the Floatzel she had caught with the new rod attachment, Sami’s Pokédex alerted him of an incoming call.

“Hello?”

“That which is long dead, at peace within the chasms of darkness, must resurface. Let the world know again of the forces of resurrection. Let those who have grown complacent be reminded of the ancient terrors.”

“...I’m sorry Professor, could you repeat that?”

The voice sighed and repeated itself. Sami had to ask a few clarifying questions anyway. It wasn’t always easy to understand the mind of so great a scientist.

“What’s up?” asked Dean when the redhead slipped the Pokédex back into a pocket.

“I’m not sure, but I _think_ Professor Undertaker wants us to collect fossils from the mountain and bring them to a Pokémon lab?”

“Sounds fun!” said Bayley. “Let’s go!”

 

(-o-)

 

“This is _bullshit,_ ” Xavier announced loudly on their third day of camping. “I can’t _believe_ the aerial tram was broken.”

“We wouldn’t be able to take it anyway for this leg,” reminded Sasha. “The Neckbreaker gym is inside the mountain.”

“How long until we get to a real city?” Tyler’s stomach rumbled, which he was fairly certain had never happened in public before. “If I get any hungrier I’ll eat my organic oatmeal face scrub.”

“Well it _is_ vanilla-flavoured, and filled with rejuvenating antioxidants,” said Xavier, peering at the label through Tyler’s beauty case. Sasha rolled her eyes and continued trying brush the twigs from her hair. Life on the road was hard. “Ooh! Berries!”

“Xavier, maybe you shouldn’t-”

“Nah, it’s fine!” he insisted, mouth full of something purple. His Butterfree didn’t seem to be dying either. “They taste kind of medicinal, but I’m sure it’s in a good way and not poison.”

Tyler and Sasha looked at each other, silently weighing dignity versus hunger. They silently agreed that the indignities of the road would not be mentioned once they returned to civilisation, then followed their friend into the bushes.

“There’s another tree over here,” Sasha said. “It smells like antifreeze, but that’s normal for fruit trees, right?”

“Totally,” agreed Tyler. The berry bush he found produced a burning sensation that left his tongue kind of numb, but it couldn’t hurt to follow Xavier’s example and shove some extras into a pouch for the road. Xavier collected a couple of each kind too before pushing further into the trees.

“I think there’s a clearing ahead, I’m gonna check it out.” Tyler and Sasha didn’t think too hard about this statement until they heard the sound of branches breaking and a “Whoa, sorry!”

“You kids shouldn’t have come here looking for a fight!” grunted some total uggo. He and his friend were _way_ worse at glamping than the trio; Tyler was pretty sure from the look of them they didn’t even have any exfoliating baby wipes or dry shampoo. Their clothes were all muddy and dirty and _ugh_.

“I’m actually thirty, asshole,” replied Xavier, crossing his arms.

“We’re going to defeat you kids before you disrupt our plans any further!” grunted the other.

“I _said_ I’m thir- oh goddamnit, fine. Guys, grab a Pokémon.”

Tyler hung back and let Sasha handle this one. Quilava and Butterfree were more than sturdy enough to handle the barrage of vine whips from the Grunts’ Gloom and Weepinbell.

“Looks like we’re going to be eating well!” said Xavier with glee, counting out the winnings as the Grunts scowled. They disappeared into the bushes, heading for the now-looming cliff face.

“What was their deal anyway?” asked Tyler.

“Lack of talent that stinks worse than their weird catchphrases,” said Sasha. “Come on, looks like we’re getting close to the tunnel.”

 

(-o-)

 

“Here we are!” said Dean as they stood before the dark crack in the crumbling rock. “So we’ve got to beat this gym _and_ collect some annoying fossils? Shouldn’t there be actual scientists doing this instead of random trainers ’Taker gave a starter to?”

“ _Professor_ Undertaker implied it was time sensitive,” said Sami with a shrug. “Besides, we can be scientists! Citizens advancing Pokéology, defending the earth!”

Behind them, Team Gorgeous fell through a wall of vegetation with three undignified thuds.

“Oh wonderful,” grinned Dean, giving the trio an over the top wave. “Hey guys! Want to come advance science with us?”

“That was a shortcut!” insisted Xavier to Bayley when she ran over to help them up. “We came through the bushes on purpose to get here!” Dean looked like schadenfreude incarnate.

Tyler jerked away from Bayley’s touch, sneering in disgust as brushed himself off. She looked put out, but recovered quickly as Sasha hugged her. Seeing Sasha’s Togepi made her squeak with delight.

“So that’s the entrance to Neckbreaker?” Sasha asked Bayley, who nodded. “I hear the tunnels are a natural maze.”

“It can’t hurt to stick together, can it?” offered Sami with a smile as everyone exchanged greetings.

“No it most positively cannot,” replied Xavier with a grin. “Sasha’s been teaching her Flaaffy a move that should help, too. Now what’s all this about advancing science?”

“We’re on a mission from the Professor!” chirped Bayley. She and Xavier set off first, talking animatedly, while the other four fell into step behind. Tyler couldn’t help looking around, but there was no one else on the path.

“Whatcha looking for, Blondie?” asked Dean.

“Those creeps?” asked Sasha, a little quieter.

“Yeah. They looked like they were headed in this direction, didn’t they?”

“Uh-huh. I don’t see them anywhere though. Some weirdos attacked us in the forest,” she explained for Dean and Sami’s benefit. The two men exchanged a look.

“We’ve been seeing some shady stuff too,” Sami said. “A couple guys who were definitely up to something.”

“Was it total uggos?” asked Tyler.

“Uhh...” Sami and Dean quietly conferred over what Tyler would consider an ‘uggo.’ “I mean... maybe? They were wearing suits.”

Tyler and Sasha quietly conferred over what Sami and Dean would consider a ‘suit.’ Dean pulled a wad of chewed gum out of his jacket pocket, plucked some lint off, and stuck it in his mouth.

“Sasha? It’s getting dark up here, might be time to make Flaaffy do its thing.”

She strode forward, releasing the wool Pokémon from its Pokéball. “Well Minako?” she prompted. “Like we practiced.” The Flaaffy bleated happily. The crackling from its fleece grew audibly stronger, like tiny thunderstorm, and soon the walls of the tunnel began to glow. Xavier’s shadow was comically weird with the wings and antennae of his Butterfree making him look like an alien. Tyler snuck up behind him, waving his arms to complete the effect. The four-armed, antennae’d monster laughed.

“Where are these fossils we’re looking for?” asked Sasha as the group carried on. Flaaffy’s glow was illuminating the fact that they weren’t in a tunnel so much as a honeycomb, smaller cracks in the rock splitting off on either side, sometimes with strange chittering sounds within.

“I don’t know,” Sami admitted. “Professor only said that they’d been found in the Neckbreaker pass, he didn’t give me a map or anything. Should I call him back?”

“God no,” said Sasha, rolling her eyes. “The less of his creepy nonsense I have to put up with, the better. We’ll figure it out ourselves.”

“Alright,” Sami agreed. The light flickered as they climbed over a pile of boulders. “But let’s all watch our step.”

“Please.” Tyler rolled his eyes as he jumped down. “As if anything’s going to – oh _shit!_ ”

He must have placed a foot wrong somehow, because he found himself not standing on solid ground, but sliding on his back down a steep ledge. His hands scrabbled for purchase, but that only seemed to dislodge more pebbles and dust that came crashing down on top of him. He could hear Xavier and Bayley calling his name as he fell, but then crashed into a cave wall and got sent skittering down another ledge to the side. The light and sound were blocked out, leaving only the sounds of scraping, crumbling earth.

After more twists and turns than he could count, Tyler landed on a pile of rocks, barely cushioned at all by his pink Naugahide fur vest. His left side was in a lot of pain from being bashed against the wall so many times, and he hissed in breath as he tried to stand. It was pitch black, and he couldn’t hear anything. He clutched his ribs and tried to think.

“Where is – there you are,” he muttered to himself, feeling slightly disoriented without Xavier’s upbeat babble filling the silence. “Princess, I need some light!”

The Delphox squinted upon being released from her Pokéball, taking a moment to realise they were underground. Soon the crackling flames of a burning selfie stick made everything a little more bearable.

“Thanks, Princess,” Tyler sighed. She yipped at him quietly, fire catching on a couple of what must be plant roots hanging from the ceiling and walls. It wasn’t as bright as the Flaaffy’s flash ability, but it was enough to see where they were.

Tyler felt like an idiot. Nobody else had fallen down a hole, getting all dusty and dirty. It felt more and more like he wasn’t cut out for any of this. Looking down, he saw Princess brushing the dust out of her tail with a spare paw, sending sparks flying across the cave floor. He patted her on the head with a weak smile, and took a quick selfie even though the light was unflattering. He could delete it later when they got out. If they got out. If not, at least all the Wannabreezes would have one last memento to remember their idol by.

“We might as well get moving, since there’s no way to make it back up that slope. Let’s go... this direction.”

He didn’t choose the direction for any reason other than it was the one he was facing, but it felt good to at least be walking somewhere, even if they were miles under a crumbly mountain and all alone and probably going to die down there. He did his best to ignore the sounds of scuttling and slithering, the feeling that there was something _alive_ down there in the dark, surrounding him. The ignoring went well, because after an immeasurable amount of walking, Tyler heard a new sound: a distinctive electric crackle.

“Sasha?” he called. “Princess, they’re this way, come on! Sasha! Xavier! Weird Hug-gos!” They ran down the corridor, squeezing their way through a crack in the wall when they saw a flash of light, to find...

“You’re not Sasha.”

The figure stood up, throwing its arms defensively in front of its glowing Voltorb. “My name is Mark, and you are not taking these fossils from me!”

Oh no. Oh no, Tyler did _not_ need this today. He took the whole effect in from head to toe, the scruffy lab jacket, the glasses, the pocket protector, the crouching over rocks in a cave like Gollum. “Ugh, supernerds.”

“Listen, jock,” said the supernerd nerdily, pushing his glasses back, and ugh as if he could be more wrong? Tyler’s abs were sculpted for _#aesthetics_ , not for _use_. “You may call me a ‘nerd,’ but I’m uncovering important truths, truths the world isn’t ready to face yet!”

“Those fossils are mine,” said Tyler, completely ignoring him and his stupid greasy hair. “My friend’s friend’s friend is looking for them.”

“No! I can’t let anyone take them! I have to protect them! There are Pokémon thieves about!” the supernerd insisted.

“What, like you?”

“Haven’t you ever _wondered_ why the regional champion is always given those big parades and press tours, but it’s never at a time when there are other big media events going on? Haven’t you ever _wondered_ why there are so few champs, when all it takes is one win for there to be a new one?” the supernerd asked conspiratorily.

“No,” said Tyler.

The supernerd looked irritated. “ _Well_ , I’ve been compiling statistics, and I’ve concluded that _Pokémon is all fake!_ It’s a storytelling mechanism that has nothing to do with actual battles! Everything is scripted, even the Elite Four!”

Tyler realised with horror that he had chipped four separate nails. He showed Princess, who whined sympathetically.

“Me and other researchers call it ‘the Kayfabe Theory.’ You can read about it on my blog.”

“I definitely will have better things to do,” the Gorgeous One said. He tucked his stray hair behind his ears, wincing as the nail polish caught on loose strands. He would need a manicure _immediately_ , as soon as he had a less flammable light source. “Now are you going to move or do I need to fight you for the fossils? Because I _really_ don’t want to, since I _really_ don’t care.”

“Aren’t you listening?” insisted the supernerd. “You’re all pawns in some larger plot! Pokémon is fake, I tell you!”

“Princess, flamethrower.” She obliged, singeing the guy’s apparently not flame retardant lab coat.

“Look everyone! It's Tyler!” He spun around.

“Sasha! Xavier!” His two friends, looking a little dusty but none the worse for wear, threw their arms around him triumphantly. Tyler winced at the pain still in his side, but that didn’t dampen his relief at being found.

“Now, now, what have we here?” asked Dean.

Tyler rubbed his throbbing ribs. “Some supernerd called Mark, or supermark called Nerd. He’s not letting us have the fossils.”

“Oh, is that all?” said Dean. He reached into his backpack, and a wave of Rattatas flowed out. “Go get ‘im, little guys.”

“What? No! I will not be silenced!” yelled the supernerd as he and his Voltorb were caried away by hundreds of scampering feet. “The Pokémon League is making poor executive choices! Read about it on my bloooooooooog!” His yelling carried down the corridor and out of sight.

In the dirt where he had stood, Bayley gasped. “These are them! They’re really the fossils!” The six trainers all huddled together to see.

“They don’t look like much,” said Tyler. One was a lump of jagged rocks, the other was a lump of lumpy rocks. Sami pulled out his Pokédex.

“ _The hounds of hell are baying for your soul, and the gates of hell are opening, and welcoming you to your eternal damnation,_ ” said the recording.

“Yours does it too, huh?” muttered Sasha. Sami shrugged.

“It says here the one on the left is called a Codaisie – a sea-dwelling Pokémon with a hard external shell that used its delicate plumes to communicate. And the lumpy one is a Punkena, a small tunnelling Pokémon that used its sharp teeth to chip away at the rocks that were its meal, and transform them in its belly.” He smiled dorkily at Tyler. “Well go on. Pick one.”

“What? I thought this was your thing?”

“We’re all heading in the same direction, aren’t we? You three will pass by the laboratory too.” Sami waved at the fossils. “Plus, we wouldn’t have found them if it weren’t for your help.”

“Uh.” Tyler looked at the pile of rocks. It still felt like something in the cave was watching them. “That one?”

“The Punkena! And Bayley, you should take the Codaisie!”

“Me?” she said, already hugging him with excitement. “A fossil of a water type! The things we could earn from it!”

“Exactly!”

Tyler shoved his weird rock into his bag. It was pretty heavy. Still, it did seem fairly cool.

“You ready to get out of here, Breezie?” asked Xavier, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“You have no idea,” he replied.

 

(-o-)

Somehow Tyler wound up walking next to Sami as the six of them took winding tunnel after winding tunnel, in what Xavier _swore_ was the right way to the gym; apparently they had bumped into a helpful hiker who had given them directions and several lengths of rope in case someone got lost again. Tyler was pretty certain they would die down here even though the other five _had_ found him, among the swooping Zubats and hideous Geodudes. He wasn’t sure it would be any better than dying alone: dying with Sami Zayn talking nonsense beside him and Dean missing every time he threw a Pokéball into a Zubat swarm, and _still_ the sensation of being watched.

 Sami insisted on telling Tyler all about the hiker and the new Solrock he’d caught while Tyler was _fighting for his gorgeous life_ in that hole. He tried to ignore how relaxing it was to hear about how _nice_ the Pokémon was and how _interesting_ ; as a rule, Tyler didn’t listen to people who smiled that indiscriminately, but if he only half-listened he could pretend Sami was talking about _his_ healthy glow, intense hotness, and psychic abilities. Maybe not that last part.

They were all mainly focussed on fending off Zubats and not falling through any more sinkholes, which is probably why Xavier screeched at the large object that dropped from the ceiling ahead of them.

“What kind of Pokémon is _that?_ ” asked Bayley. Sasha was about to (reluctantly) pull out her Pokédex to check, when the figure jumped up.

“Ha ha ha!” it said mirthlessly, waving glittering hands in front of its face.

“Hey weird thing, are you human?” asked Sasha. The figure turned to look at her, eyes glowing red.

“I came to the mountain seeking the sympathetic vibrations, the mysterious cosmic swirls that call to me. Call to us?” He tilted his head, and pointed at the Togepi in Sasha’s arms. “A brother! Oh brother of mine, are you also here seeking the fallen star Pueraria in the heart of the mountain, craving to know if the secret whispers in the dark are the voices of our kin?”

“Wow, are you a furry or something?” said Dean curiously. The man in the Mevlar outfit held a hand in front of Dean’s face without looking at him. Then he pointed at Togepi, held the pose for several seconds, and made a soft explosion noise.

“Okie dokie, I think we should all be moving along now,” said Bayley with a fake laugh. “Come on guys, I’m sure this gentleman wouldn’t mind if we all... just...” The Hugtrio started to edge past Stardust cautiously. He didn’t seem to notice, but when Team Gorgeous moved to follow them, he jumped in front of Sasha.

“You can’t leave! My brother wants to meet his kin, the Clefaries and Clefables and many beings of the stars!”

She looked pleadingly at the others, and Tyler and Xavier crossed their arms. “We’re not leaving her behind,” Tyler told Sami, Dean, and Bayley. They nodded.

“See you on the other side then?” Sami asked.

“You know it,” said Xavier. They waved as the Hugtrio disappeared into the dark.

Stardust grinned and rotated slowly on the spot. “Did you know the core of the earth burns at 6,100 degrees, but the brightest stars are three times that? Imagine! Imagine! The warmth of my homeland and its many moons!”

From down the tunnel, they could hear Dean’s muffled voice saying, “Hang on, did that guy just admit to being an alien?”

“ _Dean_.”

“Bayley, it’s a real alien, we’ve gotta go back! I have so many questions!”

“Dean, we’re _not_ doing this.”

“You guys are _assholes!_ ”

 

(-o-)

 

 “I can’t _believe_ you guys aren’t letting me go back,” Dean whined for the fiftieth time. “Our brotherhood is _dead_. Do you think he was right, about the mountain being full of alien mind waves?”

“Oh look, here we are,” said Sami quickly. “Neckbreaker.”

It wasn’t exactly what one would call a _town_. A hole had been cut into the roof of the cave, with mirrors going all the way up, bathing everything in a pale glow that was augmented by torches. Sami recalled his Solrock.

It was a large cavern, the level they were on having small pockets carved out for a Pokémon Centre, a sleeping area, and a Poké Mart. Then in the middle, a winding stair down into a deep pit from which cheers and crashing sounds erupted every minute or so.

“That must be the gym,” Bayley said, peering over the edge. People sat in rows of seats above the fighting area, covering their eyes to protect from flying shards of rock. “Maybe we should heal our Pokémon first?”

They did, then descended the long and winding stair. Sami peered upwards at the distant speck of sky. “Wow, we really are down pretty deep,” he said with a whistle. “When we get past this gym, we’re out of the tunnels, right? I don’t think Sunny and Sprout like being underground for this long, they’ve been going all pale.”

“Excuse me?” said a voice. They looked up. It was the gym leader, tall and muscular under her plate armour. The trainer she had just beaten pushed past them, cradling his Ledyba. “This isn’t like most gyms, _kiddo_ , trainers don’t _get past_ me. I _crush_ them. You see, rock type is different from all the others.” She gestured at the cavern. Zubats shrieked among the stalactites. “These mountains are the _strength_ of Frogsplash. The Pueraria was wreaking havoc on this pitiful land until the rocks crushed it. Rock is solid and strong. You don’t _get past_ an unstoppable barrier like that.”

“Pueraria? What _is_ that?” asked Dean.

 “The Pueraria? The monstrous plant Pokémon, devourer of the earth?” The gym leader looked boggled that he hadn’t heard of it.

“That’s right, you’re not originally from around here,” said Bayley. “It was a giant legendary grass type, people say it could sap the life from _anything_. In school they taught us that it’s the reason the south is so swampy; it tore up the ground so much everything turned to wetlands. It disappeared before it got to the north, which is why we can still farm up there and stuff.”

“The freaks and pilgrims get themselves lost in the tunnels trying to find it; they say its corpse is still at the heart of the mountain somewhere. But the heart of the mountain is the rock, and the mountain is the heart of Frogsplash. In this land, if you want power it isn’t just given to you, you have to carve it out yourself!”

The audience, presumably the hikers and spelunkers she was talking about, cheered at this. They seemed thrilled by thought of live boulders crushing smaller Pokémon, enough to sit through the gym leader’s insults time after time.

“Fine then, we will,” said Bayley. “We all challenge you for the Strength Badge.”

 

(-o-)

 

Sami and Bayley were wringing their hands as they watched Dean’s Rattata leap out of the way of Nia Jax’s charging Rhydon.

“Dean, it’s okay to try again after you’ve trained a little more!” Bayley called to him. Shards of rock flew into the air as the Rhydon’s wild swipes carved out chunks of the arena wall.

“No way, I’m not giving up!” Dean said. “How can I, when this little guy didn’t give up on me?”

It _was_ true, the Rattata has held on through Nia’s Golem’s self destruct; but it was very weak, panting as it dodged the Rhydon’s attacks. It couldn’t be on more than one hit point.

It had taken a Rattata and two Raticates to vanquish the gym leader’s first Pokémon. The survivor of that had been knocked out the moment her Golem came onto the field, as had Dean’s next “little guy.” Sami and Bayley agreed through silent, worried looks that this Rattata would not last long, and Dean was only allowed one more Pokémon after it fainted. Nia’s Rhydon was even stronger than her Golem and Boldore, and Sami didn’t think any of Dean’s rats would be able to take it out on their own. Of course, he _could_ continue training and try again, it was in league rules, but losing felt awful and neither of them wanted Dean to go through that. And neither of them wanted to stay in the darkness of this pit any longer than they had to.

The rest of the crowd hollered and booed Dean’s attempts. It was clear he was trying to act like he couldn’t hear them, his usual consequences-be-damned attitude firmly in place whenever he looked away from the battle.

“Come on lil’ guy, do it for me, quick attack!” said Dean. The Rattata charged forward, but seemed to bounce off the Rydon’s hard flesh without making any impact. The rock type snorted, then batted it aside with a huge paw. The Rattata squeaked and fainted.

“Is that all you got?” mocked Nia with a laugh. Sami and Bayley hugged each other, mentally preparing their pep talks for after this was over.

“Bite my entire ass!” yelled Dean. “And I’m still not convinced you aren’t covering up an alien spaceship down here!”

“When will you people learn the power inside is the rock?” said Nia. “Or better yet, when will you learn to give up? Your useless team can’t beat me.”

Dean stood in the arena, fist clenching and unclenching as he scowled. Then, with a muttered “ _Fuck!_ ” he reached inside his leather jacket and pulled out a Pokéball.

“Moxley, I choose you!”

Something flew out of the Pokéball.

Something big.

Something that caused all the air in the cavern to _woosh_ out of it and back again, half the torches flickering out. But the darkness wasn’t a problem because so much light shone from the beast’s tail.

Sami watched, mouth gaping, as Dean shouted, “Moxley, brick breaker!” The Charizard flew high into the air, and came crashing down like a fiery avalanche onto the head of the Rhydon. It collapsed instantly. With a burst of flame, the Charizard roared its dominance.

 

(-o-)

 

“Sure lovin’ these jelly doughnuts!” Dean said, sitting down with a thump.

“What? These are onigiri, Bayley made the- oh.” Sami looked at the slightly squished, days-old bag of doughnuts Dean pulled out of his pack. “Don’t you ever eat real food? With nutrients?”

“Hey, sugar is energy!” said Dean, attempting to shove one into his mouth whole and having grape explode down his chin. “Plus these have jam inside, that’s basically fruit. Want one?”

Bayley shrugged and took a doughnut, holding out the plate of rice balls, but Dean declined. Sami watched him thumbing jam off his face and into his mouth in fascination.

“...Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“How long have you had a Charizard?”

Dean finished his task and sucked the last of the jam off his thumb before taking another doughnut. “From the beginning, Moxley’s my starter.”

“But why haven’t you been using it?” Sami asked, trying to wrap his head around what had happened.

“’S like I told you, I gotta keep a low profile. I’ve got some bad dudes on my tail.”

“It’s so amazing that you won like that,” said Bayley. “That might be the neatest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks Bayley. It was actually pretty dumb of me, Mox is super fucking weak against rock types. I just couldn’t have anyone talking shit about my little guys, you know?”

“So it’s all true?” Sami asked. “About beating all the Elite Four and everything?”

“Course it’s true, did you think I was lying to you?” Dean sounded hurt. Sami rubbed his back reassuringly. He’d never fully believed Dean’s wild conspiracy claims, but he also felt like Dean must probably be one of the world’s worst liars. Definitely something too honest about the way he laughs.

“I never thought you were lying,” he answered honestly. Bayley voiced her agreement, and Dean gave them both slightly sticky hair ruffles.

“I hope word didn’t get out about Mox and me at the rock gym; I’m telling you guys, whatever this is, it goes all the way to the top.”

“What ‘top’?” asked Bayley.

Dean shrugged. “I dunno, but something high-up, something controlling the entire Pokémon world. Must’ve been able to promise something big, else my buddy never would have turned on me.”

The silence was punctuated only by the crackling of the campfire Bayley had lit from flint earlier.

“Sometimes people turn on you for no reason,” said Sami quietly.

“Nah, not my buddies!” Dean dismissed. Sami didn’t say anything. “It was hell when it happened though; lost all my guys, I only have Mox still ‘cause I swallowed his Pokéball.”

“You – you did _what?_ ” said Bayley.

“Well I had to keep it hidden, didn’t I?”

“But – but the _poop!_ And what if it had opened inside you?”

“Oh yeah. Never thought of that.” Dean grinned wide enough that his tongue basically flopped out. “Be a helluva way to go, wouldn’t it? Nine foot dragon bursting out of your chest?”

Bayley looked faint. “How could you _not have thought..._ ”

“Anyway!” said Dean brightly. “I’ve got you guys on my side now, right? So it’s all gonna be fine.”

Sami nodded, still staring into the flames. “Yeah. We’re all going to be there for each other.”

Bayley smiled. “Let’s pinkie swear on it!” It was enough to make Sami look up in surprise.

“Yeah,” he said, “yeah let’s do that.”

“ _Hell_ yes,” agreed Dean. The three of them held out their little fingers in the warm firelight, and giggled a little as they all wrapped around each other messily. Dean’s fingers were still covered in flecks of granulated sugar.

“Can’t break a pinkie swear,” he said, and the others nodded solemnly before breaking out into another fit of giggles.

 

(-o-)

 

Once they made it through the tunnel back to open air, Team Gorgeous had to rent a boat for the next leg of their journey. They’d finally arrived to the southern half of the region; everywhere south of the large, central mountain was swamps, solid land only intermittently scattered among the peat and mangroves, wetlands slowly turning into estuaries as the muddy vegetation reached towards the sea.

The air there was humid and thick, and it smelled overwhelmingly of plants. Growing plants, decaying plants, leaves and lichen fallen into the water so thick it was practically a stew. The atmosphere was muddy and thick and _alive_ , both the alive of fresh new growth and the kind of alive that springs out of rot. It felt as though the vines themselves would start to slither and shift if one blinked for a second too long.

The eerie squawks and splashes didn’t make it any better. They always seemed to be caused by a Pokémon you had _just_ passed, meaning it had been there beside you close enough to touch without noticing. One Pokémon the trio did notice, grabbing each other and pointing with silent gestures, was a giant, ancient Feraligatr that passed them a little ways off, growling low and quiet to itself. For all their cockiness, Team Gorgeous did not want to try and get their little boat near enough to catch the monster. It was the size of a car at least, a living mountain of scales drifting through the murky waters and out of sight. They all breathed a sigh of relief when it was gone, and tried not to get caught by the others checking over their shoulders to make sure it wasn’t after them.

It felt like they were never as alone as they’d like to be, with so many invisible creatures scuttling about. And worse, far worse than the invisible, probably poisonous, swamp monsters, were the extremely visible and _definitely_ annoying swamp insects. All three of them swatted hopelessly at the tiny bugs that hovered around their heads.

“These things are _awful_ ,” Sasha complained.

“Yeah,” said Xavier, trying to hit them out of the air with an oar and failing. “Hey, do you ever wonder if mosquitoes are more attracted to you while you’re on your period?”

Tyler and Sasha, who both were, glared at him and threw bits of swamp slime until Xavier raised his hands in defeat, yelling “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I give up!”

“Yeah, you better,” Sasha grumbled, then turned toward the rear of the boat. “Tyler, any idea if we’re going in the right direction yet?”

Tyler was pouring over the map a hiker had drawn for them, but it was very hard to tell one set of green and blue squiggles from another set of green and blue squiggles. He shrugged, and adjusted the rudder a little. “If we stay on the main waterway, we should get to Nobody Home sooner or later?”

“How do we know if this is the main waterway? Everything’s too covered in vines and moss to see anything.”

Tyler shrugged. “We haven’t passed by any other channels that look more main-er? We could try asking at that house over there.”

“Ooh, house?” said Xavier, perking back up. “Like with solid floors and a shower and everything?”

Tyler pointed at the roof they could see rising from past the next bunch of mangroves. “Don’t get your hopes up; who knows what kind of terrible-looking hicks would live in a place like this.”

“True true,” said Xavier, stroking his now-muddy chin thoughtfully. “But we still do need directions.”

They pulled the boat up on the patch of solid ground that extended past the front of the large building, each groaning as they stretched their legs for the first time in hours. A water-damaged sign in front read _Frogsplash Day Care Centre._ Xavier marched past it and pounded on the door.

“Hello? Hello? Open up in there, we want – whoa.”

The man who opened the door was _huge._ And _broad_. And had dark eyes like deep velvet, and incredible hair, and one of his arms was all muscular and tattooed, and his other arm was all muscular and holding a half-dozen sleeping baby Eevees.

“Yes?” the man said, a low, pleasant rumble.

Tyler swallowed audibly. On either side of him, his friends did the same. One of the Eevee pups made a peeping noise as it shifted in its sleep. The day care man shifted it into the crook of his arm; it snuggled in with a sigh.

Xavier recovered first out of the three of them. “Hello, my good sir. We were wondering if we might use your facilities for a few moments, perhaps ask you to point us in the general correct direction on our thrilling journey?”

Day Care Hottie nodded. “For a fee, you can leave Pokemon here and I’ll raise and train them for you. Each gets individual attention, any species. Breeding costs more, but all the studs here are certified to have perfect stats, and all Eevees are either competition winners or descended from competition winners. You do shows?”

Team Gorgeous nodded blankly, watching the attractive man’s mouth move. Tyler raised his hand. Day Care Hottie’s face twisted in confusion.

“Yes?”

“Why is someone like you wearing that ugly tac vest?”

“This?” He looked down in surprise. The Eevee pups yawned. “Some of the bigger Nidoking can get a little rowdy; me and my gibs have to break up fights sometimes.”

“Yeah but you could... take it off...” Sasha mumbled. The man’s muscles rippled.

He sighed a resigned-sounding sigh. “If you’re just passing through, leave your shoes by the door; bathroom is upstairs to the left. Do you want to hear the overnight rates or do you just want directions?”

“Just directions, big dog, we’re trying to reach Nobody Home before it gets dark,” said Xavier as they filed in, knocking mud off their boots.

The Day Care Hottie frowned. “Nobody Home? You’re fighting the gym there?”

Sasha nodded. “Yeah, why?”

He looked down at the Eevees in his arms, then at each of the trio in turn. After a few moments reflection, he took a step towards Xavier.

“Here,” the man said, holding out a scruffy, sleepy pup by its scruff. Xavier held out both hands, and the Eevee curled up in them, too sleepy to pay attention to what was going on. “He’s small, but he’ll grow fast. That gym, it’s full of monsters. You’ve got to take them down. I don’t like the things they get up to.”

Sasha and Tyler gathered close to stroke Xavier’s new Pokémon with the tips of their fingers. It was very soft. The Day Care Hottie continued to frown with worry.

“Don’t let them get you,” he said. “This whole league is fucked up.”

“Of course we’ll beat the gym,” Xavier said. “We’re the best, right guys?”

 

(-o-)

 

After an annoying number of ominous warnings and some judgemental glances, Day Care Hottie finally pointed Team Gorgeous in the right direction and they set off.

The estuary got narrower somehow, and if they hadn’t known this was the right direction they would probably have doubled back. Everything got darker too, even though it was too early to be nighttime. The green lights of fireflies blinked at them like whisps, and the yellow and blue lights of... other things... flared in and out of existence deeper in the trees. It was probably being distracted by one of these that made Tyler twist the rudder without realising it; they ran into something firm and wooden with a thud.

“What was that?” said Xavier, crawling to the front of the boat. “A... post?”

It was a post, all jagged at the top like something had ripped it in half. They corrected their course, but saw more and more off to the sides as they went. Some of them were connected to what looked like half of a wood floor, and then a freestanding wall that had been punched through in several places by climbing plants. It wasn’t until they saw a crumbling fireplace and chimney that Sasha understood, whispering under her breath, “It’s a ghost town...”

It was eerily quiet. The only sound for a moment was the water lapping at the sides of their boat. But as they listened, they heard faint, discordant notes being plucked from a banjo. The trio looked at each other and nodded, Tyler steering them slowly towards the sound. They arrived finally at a well-lit house, painted in all white. A Mimikyu crawled up the side of the building. Gym Guy sat on the front porch in a rocking chair, instrument in his hands. He smiled that strange, shark-like smile at them.

“Yo, champs in the making,” he said. “Welcome to the ghost gym of Nobody Home.”

Tyler, Sasha and Xavier climbed onto the porch. They took a deep breath in unison, air too hot and muggy for it to be reassuring in any way.

“We go in together?” asked Xavier.

 

(-o-)

 

Tyler stumbled backwards through the door, away from the giant man in the sheep mask who was advancing on him. He was panting and sweaty and afraid. The floorboards under him creaked.

The last three rooms had been a blur, everything twisting round so Tyler was no longer sure which doors he’d gone through or whether they’d opened back on the same place. When he, Sasha, and Xavier had entered the house there had been this sort of fog; Tyler had pressed forward through it, assuming his friends would do the same, but instead he’d found himself alone in the large, empty entrance hall with its flickering gas lamps and peeling paint. And through the doors on either side – huge men, huge men with huge beards and huge Pokémon, Banettes and Dusknoirs, and disembodied laughter as they loomed over him in the flickering light.

Tyler still hadn’t fought any of them. Something was making him feel dizzy and confused, and if he could only see _one_ of his friends he would be fine, hear their voices, but he was all alone and clinging to the walls for support. The house was spinning, like he was drunk. He thought he heard Xavier’s voice upstairs.

“Xavier?” he yelled. “Xavier, are you in there? I can’t find you!” There were three doors on the upper level, and he was pretty sure he heard his friend behind the one on the left. “Xavier, I’ve been-”

A tall, long-haired, balding man with a red beard leered at him; he pointed silently, body odour wafting across the room. A Chandelure followed the gesture, flying towards Tyler with a piercing shriek. He ran out of the room, collapsing onto the banister of the landing with his eyes screwed shut.

“Have you seen Tyler anywhere?”

He opened his eyes.

“No. He’s taking ages, he’s so useless.”

Tyler had been about to get up, about to wave and shout, but the room swam again and he was no longer sure he could feel his legs.

“Yeah, this gym was so much easier than the others. I can’t believe we have to wait for him every time; even his own Pokémon must hate him, they lose so many battles,” Xavier was saying below him. He and Sasha must be under the landing. Tyler couldn’t see their faces. He wasn’t sure he wanted to.

“I honestly regret bringing him along, he’s been nothing but a drag this whole time. I can’t believe he thinks we’re still friends with him.”

No, _this_ was the worse nightmare, it had to be, Tyler thought frantically. He backed up to the door behind him, tugging on the handle. “ _Let me in, let me in,_ ” he hissed. His hair was falling in his face. He was only vaguely aware he was crying, eyes all puffy and everything. He knew he should be reprimanding himself, staying beautiful at least if he had nothing else – he _did_ have nothing else – but he couldn’t care, couldn’t care about anything other than getting away from those voices.

“I say we leave him here; he’s too annoying to keep around anyway. Let him find losers of his own level.”

The door was jammed or locked or something, and Tyler turned in desperation to the third one. “ _Please, let me in, don’t make me hear this, let me-_ ”

Before he realised it had opened, he felt himself falling inside the room, breathing hard in terror and hating the tears that stung the corners of his eyes. The door closed. There was a deep, rumbling laugh behind him.

Tyler span around, arms lifting in some ancestral memory that urged _fight back, protect your heart._ His messy hair was in his eyes, obscuring his vision. It wasn’t as though he even knew _how_ to fight.

Everything was hazy, blurred, a sort of sepia tone, and he could swear before him there was some kind of a giant shadowy being. His bare chest was covered in twisting vines coloured like blood that stretched down his arms, his stomach, up to cover his face and his glowing eyes.

“I know you,” he said, laughing a laugh that froze Tyler to the spot. “The lamb too weak even for its own herd. Run, run, run, little lamb, but you’ll never run fast enough.”

“Who are you?” managed Tyler.

“I’m your _friend_ ,” said the man, baring his teeth. Across the entire room, the vines twisted and spun, illuminated by the flickering gas lamp. “The friend who will still be there after everyone else abandons you over how _weak_ you are.”

Tyler knew he should be reaching for a Pokéball; this was a gym after all, but his arms felt too heavy to lift. The figure’s leer widened, like it knew what was happening.

“Too feeble to even fight; truly a pup before the slaughter. _They_ know how weak you are. How seduced by the pretty lights. It’s funny you even try, when you and I both know you’ll fail.”

“No! They lo-like me!” They didn’t love him.

Then there was a flash of pitch darkness, and Tyler thought he might have gone blind until the blinking lights shone through – fireflies through the slats in the dilapidated walls? Ghosts among the swamp gas? Glowing eyes? In a panic, Tyler realised he could no longer feel the floor beneath him, he was floating, he was falling - and just like that it was light again. Before him stood the tall man, this time wearing a tacky yellow Alolan-print shirt. He held something glowing in his hand.

“For you, the Swamp Badge.”

Tyler’s tongue felt thick and heavy in his mouth, but he managed to speak anyway. “I didn’t fight you.”

The man chuckled mirthlessly. “No, I don’t need that from you.”

Tyler’s head felt like it was clearing a little, though his heart was still racing enough to make his body shaky. “I want to earn the badge.”

“Do you really think you could?” The man paused just long enough to let Tyler hesitate, to let his not-quite-real confidence falter. He gestured towards the corner of the room that had remained dark. “Sister Abigail has seen you. She knows you would not win. She knows everything.”

And as he spoke, the darkness spread until the wall of the room was dark, and then somehow darker. It was like watching a skein of velvet unfurl, and through the floor came the eyes and mouth of a ghost Pokémon, face filling the entire wall. Tyler staggered back a few feet. The gym leader laughed again, voice seeming to echo somehow.

“No one can defeat Sister Abigail. Come here, to me.”

Tyler’s legs drew him forward, skirting to one side to keep away from the floating fangs of the ghost. The bearded man dropped the badge into his palm.

“Now flee, little lamb.”

As if in a dream, he did, fast as he possibly could.

 

(-o-)

 

Sasha and Xavier were hovering anxiously outside when he came through the door.

“Tyler! I was so scared for you!” said Xavier, grabbing Tyler by the shoulders. He smelled like sweat and cologne, not like dust and kerosene. “Are you okay? I lost track of everyone when we got inside, I tried to find you-”

“I’m fine,” said Tyler, pushing him away; Tyler was all messy, he shouldn’t be touching anyone with his disgusting skin the way it was. Sasha moved to hug him and he flinched away.

“I’m not fine, not after _that_ ,” Sasha said, glaring at the door to the gym. None of them seemed to want to touch it, though they were on the verge of collapse. The gym guy was nowhere to be found, but the rocking chair continued to creak ominously.

“Felt like a bad dream half the time,” Xavier agreed quietly.

“Yeah. And the gym leader was scary as fuck,” said Sasha. They quickly untied their boat and hurried out of the ghost town as quickly as they could, not even moving aside for the raft of bearded hippies who were forced into the brambles as they passed.

“He was a total uggo though, right Tyler?” Xavier said, his voice full of forced levity.

“Right,” Tyler managed, swallowing as much of his Evian as he could manage. “Probably had food in his beard and everything.” He didn’t want to be the one to bring up that their wins had been unfair. The three of them had never exactly been sticklers for the rules: back when she was on the school track team, Sasha had been notorious for tripping up competitors who looked like they were going to break her records. Tyler and Xavier had spent an entire summer getting fake engaged in every fast food restaurant they could to score free meals. And each of them was an expert in charming their way into teachers lounges, where it was easy to steal the answers to quizzes. But those had all been a sort of organised chaos in Tyler’s mind, something where they cheered each other on. Something inside him felt unclean, shaken still from that hazy, confusing nightmare in the upstairs room of that gym.

“And his Gengar was ridiculously strong!” said Sasha.

“I managed to beat the Gengar okay, but the Pumpkaboo totally threw me, I had no idea it would know fire blast...”

 _Oh_. Tyler was hit by a sudden wave of dizziness, and vomited over the side of the boat.

“Tyler? You okay?” asked Xavier with concern.

“I’m fine, leave me alone!” said Tyler, shaking him off. He felt himself shrinking into his furred boots. So it had just been him then. Everything Sasha and Xavier – everything they hadn’t _said_ , Tyler was nearly sure they hadn't been _saying_ those things – it had all been true. He really was falling behind. He really was weak. They had been training together this whole time and he couldn’t even beat the same gyms as the other two. The Swamp Badge glowed in the dark confines of his badge case, a lie, a shining beacon of his guilt.

“Tyler?”

He realised Sasha was hovering over him, not touching. Xavier was at the far end of the boat, eyes wide. Tyler was hyperventilating again, a mess, falling apart.

He held his breath quietly, letting his hair hide his clamped lips, until his panic looked less outwardly obvious. “I’m fine, it’s just this annoying hair,” he said. “Pass me my bag, I _desperately_ need to brush it.”

Sasha and Xavier smiled weakly. Tyler dug through the bag, then frowned, and dug again.

“You can borrow mine if you can’t find a brush,” Sasha offered, but Tyler shook his head.

“No, my fossil... it’s missing.”

“Did it get lost? Stolen? Should we go look for it?”

Tyler shook his head. “No, it doesn’t matter.”

“Are you sure?” asked Xavier quietly. “It’s kind of important, we should search-”

“It’s _fine_ ,” insisted Tyler. He was exhausted. “All I want is someplace solid to camp. Can we just move on?”

“Sure thing, Breezie.”

Each of the three of them seemed to be lost in thought after Nobody Home faded into the greenery behind them. Aside from the occasional joke that fell flat, or hollow laugh, Team Gorgeous travelled the swamp in silence, biting their knuckles or their nails, twisting their hair anxiously until they found a patch of dry ground. Even Butterfree sat exhausted in Xavier’s lap instead of its usual perch on his shoulder.

 “Sasha,” Tyler asked quietly while Xavier forged on ahead, looking for an open patch where they could roll out their sleeping bags. “When your ex left you behind...” He couldn’t ask if it was because she wasn’t good enough. He couldn’t. Couldn’t even look at her, all fierce and strong and brave and full of drive to succeed.

“It was because she had an advantage,” Sasha said. Her words sounded sharp and angry, and if Tyler had looked at her he would have seen that her hair was sticking to her temples slightly from sweat, and had been ever since the gym. Her fists were clenched by her sides and her eyes were almost but not quite screwed up in a sort of wince. “I was good enough to beat her. No one’s going to leave me behind again.” Sasha swiped at some branches in her way with a fury, snapping them in half.

“Yeah,” said Tyler. The swamp writhed and chirped around them. He felt empty and alone.

 

(-o-)

 

Sami made his way downstairs as quietly as possible, feet dancing between the moonlit patches on the floor. The ghost gym had been... hard, harder than he’d like to think about right now, and all he wanted at the moment was to sneak out and check on his Pokémon out on the ranch. He didn’t want to have to think about... _people_. _Events_. But before he could cross from the bottom of the staircase to the front door, he heard voices talking low in the next room.

“...should have come here first.”

“I didn’t want to worry you. I know how you feel about those freaks.”

“That’s why you _should_ have come,” the day care owner sighed. “Dean... I thought you were getting out. What are you doing, going through it all again?”

“It’s these kids, Rome,” Dean said. “They’re good kids, you know? Really nice to everyone, and loyal, and they’ve got a hell of a lot of potential.”

“Brother, you know what happens with loyal people.”

“Yeah, they put you up in their day care for free and keep you up late with hot chocolate and thoughtful advice,” Dean said, and the day care man chuckled. It was a nice sound, Sami decided.

He hadn’t known what to think when Dean told, both of them still slick with sweat after the terrifying nightmare of the Nobody Home gym, that he had a friend who lived nearby. He’d probably figured that any friend of Dean’s must also be, well, odd and a little wild. But there was affection in both of their voices now, as they called each other ‘brother’ and worried over whatever was in their past. Dean had tried to say something, offer some explanation – Sami would have expected him to need one when showing up at someone’s door with two strangers who were wild-eyed and jumpy – but the day care owner had pulled him into a tight hug before Dean had even gotten a word out. And to his and Bayley’s surprise, Dean had hugged back, with more sincerity than they’d even known he could show.

“Promise you won’t try to get it all back. It’s not worth it.”

“Roman,” Dean said, almost pleading. “I don’t care about titles or championships or anything, but if I have a shot to do something, I’m going to take it. I have to.”

“You shouldn’t,” Roman said. He sounded exhausted. Dean sounded so much calmer this late at night than Sami had ever heard him, less like a – what did he call himself? – a lunatic fringe, but even with his arrogance and jokes played down, anyone should know better than to try and control him. Roman seemed to know better.

“My best jill, she’s just had pups. Want you to have one.”

“Aaw, Rome, you’re so sweet!” Clearly Dean needed far less convincing when baby Pokemon were involved.

“Gotta have someone out there to protect you on your wild adventures.”

“Damn right I do. Gimme the one with the meanest glare, it’ll be like you and me are on the road again.”

Roman laughed. “I’ll let you pick one in the morning, it’s too late to be waking them.”

“Yeah, alright,” Dean said, swinging back to petulant and immature so fast Sami had to hold a hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh. He realised he was still leaning against the wall at the foot of the stairs. It _was_ late; Sneezy, Sunny and the rest would probably be fast asleep in the pasture. He didn’t actually want to wake them, did he?

Feeling less trapped inside his own head for some reason, Sami snuck back up the stairs. Perhaps he would bake in the morning, to thank Roman for being such a sweet guy. Part of him guiltily wished he could have a thoughtful, attractive man waiting for him somewhere.

“Dean?” asked Roman.

“Hmm?”

“Was the Wyatt gym harder this time?”

Dean paused a long time before answering, eyes staring deep in the empty cup as though still seeing things he didn’t want to see.

“Nearly impossible.”

 

(-o-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I’m sorry, did I forget to mention that Dean also has a LEVEL 67 CHARIZARD?? Apologies for the wait; this is my favourite chapter, content-wise, and I really wanted to get it right. I hope I did!
> 
> “Punkena and Codasie sound like Pokémon” – some random reddit user [once](https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/43sphc/slash_fanfiction_thank_you_new_day/). Thanks, random reddit user. Jill/gib aren’t the names of Roman’s Eevees, they’re actually terms used in ferret breeding! Ferrets have a lot of weirdly specific terms! Mark the Supernerd isn’t anyone in wrestling, I just really wanted to make that pun and Supernerds are my favourite NPC trainer class along with Gentlemen, so I had to include one. :P


End file.
